Smell my feet
As an aficionado of the macabre, I have tons of seasonally appropriate songs laying around the house. Last Halloween, I posted 20 of them. Here are 20 more.
1. The Simpsons, "Treehouse of Horror V" (Songs in the Key of Springfield, 1997) - Believe it or not, we're coming up on the 16th "Treehouse of Horrors" episode of "The Simpsons," the annual Halloween anthology which is of course one of my favorite TV traditions. The show is actually running during Halloween weekend this year, since the damn World Series will finally be over, no longer clogging FOX's Sunday lineup. The "Treehouse" is the one time per year the show's intro changes from the iconic trip through Springfield to a trip through the graveyard. It's also the rare instance of a "Simpsons" episode still seeming special these days, considering that most have some sort of guest star or gimmick behind them. From the show's first collection of audio highlights, this is the beginning of the installment which includes a parody of "The Shining" ("The Shinning"), Homer's time-traveling mishaps, Lunchlady Doris cooking schoolkids and our favorite animated family turned inside out by a malicious fog.
2. Dead Kennedys, "Halloween" (Plastic Surgery Disasters, 1982) - Of all the early West Coast hardcore acts, Dead Kennedys were most proficient at letting their freak flag fly. These dudes went against the grain of everything. Musically, East Bay Ray's surfy guitar tone was always unique, and the stylistic detours that began in earnest on their second LP, Plastic Surgery Disasters, continued until the end. Of course, Jello Biafra's lyrics were just as important, mixing gallows humor with progressive values and hatred for conventional or conservative ideologies. Thus, their wailin' take on the holiday chastises people who use it as their annual chance to be themselves, while hiding behind a mask of conformity the rest of the year. You know, like Ministry's "Everyday is Halloween," but more pissed.
3. Andre 3000 featuring Kelis, "Dracula's Wedding" (The Love Below, 2003) - On the same OutKast disc that gave us "Hey Ya!" is this funny little funk ditty about the Lord of the Vampires. It's one of many great but glanced-over tracks on Andre's half of Speakerboxxx/The Love Below, which was more scrutinized for his jazzy indulgences and that ubiquitous poppy single than for its oddball creative spirit. It's actually a not-so-subtle metaphor for an otherwise indefatigable male's fear of commitment, done up with a campy vampire theme. Kelis, the real-life wife of Nas, drops some groaner puns as the comely bride and manages to sound sexy doing it. Sure, I liked Idlewild more than most people did, but listening to this for the first time in a while made me realize that while Big Boi has a solo album about to drop, I sure could go for a new real OutKast album right about now.
4. A Little Girl, "I Want a Monster to Be My Friend" (The Sesame Street Monsters!, 1975) - During my senior year of high school, I went through a weird regression thing wherein I pulled all of my old children's records out of the basement and gave them another listen. This one was one of my favorites, and seems to have been pretty ubiquitous among people who grew up when I did. Monsters! featured songs by Cookie Monster, Grover, Herry (remember him?) and numerous other pre-Elmo creatures, all in the name of teaching kids that not everything that appears scary wants to do them harm. The album has been reissued on CD, but it was retitled and this particular song was zapped because of parental complaints that its lyrics could potentially be miscontrued as having a sick pedophilic connotation. I'll admit, it sounded dirty to me as a teenager, but this overreaction is a good example of the sort of behavior I have against parents in general.
5. GWAR, "Vlad the Impaler" (Scumdogs of the Universe, 1990) - Before "Beavis and Butt-head" made them national punchlines, GWAR was a scrappy little troupe of art school types who started to make a satirical B-movie about an alien monster rock band. They staged some concerts to raise money for the flick, and before long, thanks to theatrical and messy DIY stage shows, found themselves a popular touring punk/metal act. They used to play in Chicago every Halloween, ensuring that fans covered in fake blood, shit and other bodily secretions fit in while flooding the streets after the show. However, their music was unjustly dismissed, when it was often very catchy, frequently experimental and always perversely subversive, like the Dead Kennedys with onstage eviscerations. GWAR continues today as a sad, scaled-down self-parody, but this infectious thrash ode to the original Dracula is a reminder of when they were great. Choice lyrics include "When he was a boy, they sent him to the Turks/But you know they didn't like him because all the Turks were jerks" and "He could have been a whaler/Could have been a tailor/He turned out to be Norman Mailer."
6. The Aquabats, "Cat With 2 Heads!" (The Fury of the Aquabats!, 1997) - The Aquabats wear costumes and fight foes during their concerts, sort of like GWAR if they were more into ska and new wave than hardcore. Their Saturday morning action cartoon antics have delighted thousands of sugar-fueled kids, the so-called Aquacadets who hold infrequent conventions ("Cadet Summits") in the bemasked band's honor. Although they've left the ska influences behind in favor of Devo-punk weirdness, they're infrequent on the recording front and their ranks have shrunk in recent times, you'd have to be one sour bastard to not enjoy these dudes in a live setting. Here's a sweet saga of mad science gone awry from their second album, the one featuring Blink-182 cheeseball Travis Barker on drums.
7. Fabio Frizzi, "Voci dal Nulla" (L'Aldilà, 1981) - Although he's now a cult icon, poor Lucio Fulci never got much respect when he was alive and working. This is probably due to the fact that the 1979 film that made the Italian director's international name, "Zombi 2," was by all accounts crafted and released as a pure exploitation ripoff of George A. Romero's "Dawn of the Dead." "Zombie," as Fulci's flick is called in the States, is indeed much stupider and sloppier than its inspiration, but its ridiculousness (e.g. the infamous zombie/shark fight) is so creatively brazen and its atmosphere so enveloping that it achieves a sublime watchability on its own terms. Lucio lunatics consider the supernatural opus "L'Aldilà" (aka "The Beyond") his best film, and it's certainly the best introduction to his horror movies' unique combination of stylish shot composition, mind-boggling plot contrivances and outrageous gore effects. Frequent collaborator Frizzi's score seals it among the primary touchstones of the Italian splatter era. Just stay away from old American video releases entitled "Seven Doors of Death," which contain a severely cut pan-and-scan version with different music.
8. Misfits, "Astro Zombies" (Misfits aka Collection I, 1986) - Always welcome at any Halloween party, the Misfits cornered the schlock horror/punk market early on and are now a cultural institution. Today, the Jersey boys' Crimson Skull mascot is plastered on everything from cell phone faceplates to Henry Rollins' left forearm. I'll admit that I first heard 'em because of Metallica's covers of "Last Caress" and "Green Hell," and that they're my favorite punk band of all time, especially since their music isn't strictly punk. The Misfits model when this track was recorded (it first surfaced on 1982's "Walk Among Us") was early rock n' roll, which can be heard in its sloppy "whoa-oas" and jacked-up '50s boogie, common traits of such tunes which have held up for several generations of Fiends. By the way, Glenn Danzig's lyrics don't really have anything to do with Ted V. Mikels' 1968 "The Astro-Zombies," but that snoozefest would make for such a boring song, it's not a problem.
9. Gnarls Barkley, "The Boogie Monster" (St. Elsewhere, 2006) - More than their costume gimmicks and prior musical pedigree, Gnarls Barkley brings an interesting sense of unease to the iPods of the world. Danger Mouse's hip-pop background often features spooky pianos and noirish atmosphere, while Cee-Lo croons and howls his way through lyrics obsessed with millennial madness, isolation and inner demons. And despite all this, it stays groovy, memorable and accessible. I'm saying this based on the debut, since I still haven't heard The Odd Couple, but everything from this summer's Lollapalooza set to most reviews I've read confirm that the freaky, fucked-up vibe remains. Here's a perfect paranoid number for the season, one which could easily have become a standard on Halloween-themed CD compilations if Cee-Lo hadn't ended the song by soliciting a blowjob.
10. Be Your Own Pet, "Zombie Graveyard Party!" (Get Awkward, 2008) - I was kind of torn on Nashville teen punks Be Your Own Pet, who announced their breakup a few months ago. They were awfully energetic, so much so that what they lacked in instrumental or vocal precision was more than made up for in sheer bonkers audacity. I can respect that approach, even enjoy it... like, The Coke Dares are seriously rocking me this year. But on top of being so in-your-face, Be Your Own Pet were kind of annoying, cloyingly and calculatedly juvenile in the lyric department, the music abrasive and tuneless yet also harmless, like a major label's attempt to translate the no wave movement to Atreyu fans. This is the only track I wholeheartedly enjoyed from their second and final album. It's inspired by "Return of the Living Dead," one of the best-loved splatter comedies of the '80s, and it's actually catchy.
11. Herschell Gordon Lewis, "Blood Feast (Main Title)" (The Eye-Popping Sounds of Herschell Gordon Lewis, 2002) - Ah, Herschell Gordon Lewis. A Chicago ad man turned exploitation filmmaker, Lewis cranked out dozens of flicks covering such lurid topics as wife swapping, vicious female bikers, nudist colonies, out-of-control teens, moonshine runners, birth control, the nudie picture business and country singers who run for the U.S. Senate. He's written tons of books on successful marketing. However, he'll always be known for making seven flicks spanning 1963 to 1972 which gave him the nickname "Godfather of Gore." The very first movie ever crafted for the express purpose of its onscreen bloodletting was "Blood Feast." Longtime readers remember my love for this z-grade schlockfest, while the rest of you can catch up here. This is its main title theme, from a disc compiling his movies' sonic highlights. It was composed and performed by Herschell himself, and it's just as odd, laughable and endearing as the flick it introduces. In case you haven't seen it, Lewis' 2002 comeback, "Blood Feast 2: All U Can Eat," was surprisingly not a disappointment.
12. Nekromantix, "What's on Your Neighbor's BBQ" (Dead Girls Don't Cry, 2004) - I always feel like I should get into more psychobilly. Then I'll hear a disc like the one at hand by this long-running Danish outfit, and I'll instantly shrug off that feeling. The Nekromantix have a lot of ingredients that should make me like them: fast punk n' roll tunes with thick stand-up bass, horror-themed lyrics, spooky make-up, coffin-shaped instruments. They've got the image, the look and the sound; all that's missing are great songs. I gather that Dead Girls Don't Cry is considered one of their worst albums, or at least the point at which the Nekromantix lost whatever mojo they previously had, since founder Kim Nekroman had relocated to America. But, hey, it's the one I've heard, and this cheeky cannibal ditty is the best song on it - not bad, but not exactly inspiring me to hunt down more. Despite all this, one day I'll get around to checking out Demented Are Go, highly praised Welsh psychobillies who are hopefully better than these dudes.
13. Alice Cooper, "He's Back (The Man Behind the Mask) (movie mix)" (The Life and Crimes of Alice Cooper, 1999) - Although he's the indisputable king of horror-themed rock music, Alice Cooper hasn't fully embraced his spooky image on record as often as you'd imagine. In the mid-80s, though, his reinvention as a commercial heavy metal singer came with an allegiance to cinematic mayhem, monsters and murder. Witness his sole lead movie role, as a rock superstar bedeviled by a werewolf curse in the ridiculous "Leviatán" (aka "Monster Dog"), directed by the guy behind such astounding Italian cheesefests as "Troll 2" and "Rats: Night of Terror." Around the same period, he also appeared as a possessed hobo in John Carpenter's underrated "Prince of Darkness" and provided the theme song (it kicked off the second side of his album Raise Your Fist and Yell, comprised of a five-song suite that's some of the best campy horror rock the '80s had to offer). Prior to "Prince," Alice did this synth-choked theme song for "Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives." This alternate mix comes from the great AC box set.
14. Hammer, "Addams Groove" (Too Legit to Quit, 1991) - Oh, is this painful! When Barry Sonnenfeld's first "Addams Family" movie was in production, MC Hammer decided to drop the "MC" from his stage name. One would assume this was to minimize his association with genuine rappers, considering the ridiculous marketing blitz that accompanied his third album, Too Legit, fortunately his last hurrah. Although he laid the social and religious messages on thickly, his true colors as a capitalist pop shill shone through by including this idiotic commercial concocted for the end credits of the "Addams" flick. I can't think of many rappers who were less suited to stylish dark comedy than this lite-funk, low-top fade jackass. Truth be told, I only included this song because I couldn't find a good mp3 of Tag Team's "Addams Family (Whoomp!)" (from the superior sequel, "Addams Family Values"). That one's even stupider, so crass and pointless as to cross into hilarious territory.
15. AFI, "'Fall Children" (All Hallows, 1999) - A Fire Inside wasn't always a weak-ass emo-goth Vegas act. They actually started out as middle-of-the-road melodic hardcore merchants before embracing ominous intros and a ghoulish appearance obviously inspired by the Misfits. Vocalist Davey Havok eventually took his "Evil Elvis" worship to the extreme in Son of Sam, a project made up of former Samhain and Danzig members who I assumed were a one-off collaboration until a second album recently surfaced... naturally, Davey's too big a douchebag rock star to participate now. For a few CDs back at the turn of the millennium, however, he was behind some pretty enjoyable stuff, with lyrical allusions to shadows and souls giving it some dimension beyond your typical straight-edge slugfest. This rousing ode to autumn and its adherents is perhaps my favorite. It comes from the same EP as "Totalimmortal," which was soon afterward turned into a hit as covered by those creampuffs in The Offspring.
16. The Alan Parsons Project, "The Raven" (Tales of Mystery and Imagination, 1976) - Who doesn't like hearing the trippy lite-Floyd strains of "Time" while shopping for groceries, or the spacy instrumental "Sirius" when the Chicago Bulls take the court? People who don't like The Alan Parsons Project, I guess. Parsons and minions don't bother me. In fact, I'm quite fond of the debut album, a very dated, British concept platter based on the writings of Edgar Allen Poe. Its dusty theatrical/neoclassical trappings don't sound very much like Parsons' later radio hits. "The Raven" is one of the first widely-released songs to have used a digital vocoder to alter a human voice, with Parsons singing verses adapted from Poe through the device. It seems funny that back in 1976, the effect could be used to evoke the "eerie" atmosphere of classic suspense stories rather than the futuristic sci-fi connotations the vocoder has today (no, it's not the same thing as the "Cher/T-Pain effect"). The non-vocoder singing vocals here are by actor Leonard Whiting, who played Romeo in that Franco Zeffirelli "Romeo and Juliet" movie you probably had to watch in high school.
17. Ramones, "Pet Sematary" (Brain Drain, 1989) - As I once said during an Xmas music post, while not revered, Brain Drain is not a terrible Ramones album. It was the last one featuring Dee Dee on bass, and despite some gimmicks and a muddy recording, it manages to rock pretty hard for its time. The biggest argument against this is "Pet Sematary," a single concocted for a flick that happens to be one of the few decent Stephen King adaptations - at least of his horror novels, which are typically softened with lukewarm results (or, in the case of "The Shining," reworked with equally creepy results). Johnny's rainy-day guitar sound and Joey's sing-song chorus are far removed from the aggressive likes of classics like "Chainsaw" or "Commando," and although the lyrics are directly related to the plot, they really don't convey the film's overwhelmingly bleak tone. Among gaudy '80s tie-in songs, though, the Ramones' "Sematary" is surely better than The Fat Boys' "Are You Ready for Freddy?"
18. Thee Undatakerz, "Grave Undataking" (Kool Keith Presents Thee Undatakerz, 2004) - Kool Keith first delivered his spin on horrorcore - unsurprisingly, he claims to have invented it - on his 1999 album as Dr. Dooom, First Come, First Served. It's one of Keith's best full-lengths, teeming with the legendary MC's customary perverse bile, but nowhere near as insularly cranky or sexually creepy as he later became. A few years later, he squeaked out this disappointing one-shot group album on which he barely appears. Thee Undatakerz didn't play up their horror angle as often as they should have, as this is one of their few cuts that actually sound horror-y. The deep, distorted voice at the end belongs to my favorite Undataker, a dude in metal mask calling himself The Funeral Director. Although they somehow got the terrible dance song "Party in the Morgue" on the "Blade: Trinity" soundtrack, the group soon disappeared. Now, to my delight, a second Dr. Dooom album finally surfaced last month. While I haven't gotten my economically-challenged hands on it yet, the grindhouse trailer-inspired video for the lead single, in which he once again kills alter ego Dr. Octagon, gives me hope that it's better than haphazard shit such as Thee Undatakerz.
19. Deceased, "The Doll with the Hideous Spirit" (Supernatural Addiction, 2000) - Here's a Halloween-y metal song with a cooler pedigree than one might surmise. Deceased is a long-running band from Virginia that were among the first to play the ugly form of thrash known early on as "death metal," and while they've become more influenced by melodic classic metal over time, they still admirably navigate those archaic '80s death/thrash borders. They've always been a horror-centered group, but since vocalist King Fowley is as obsessed with obscure genre movies as he is obscure defunct heavy metal acts, Deceased usually offers a more esoteric take than your typical group. Supernatural Addiction contains some of the band's most accessible material, and it's unique among horror-themed metal albums in that inspiration for all but one track comes from anthological sources such as episodes of "The Twilight Zone" and the British omnibus flicks of Amicus Productions. This one's about "Amelia," the most famous segment of the 1975 TV movie "Trilogy of Terror" - the one starring Karen Black and the killer Zuni hunter doll.
20. Goblin, "Profondo Rosso (original sound effect)" (Profondo Rosso, 1975) - Finally, here's the most famous musical act in Italian horror film history. Progressive rockers Cherry Five changed their name to Goblin when they composed this music for Dario Argento's "Profondo Rosso" (aka "Deep Red"), a murder mystery in the giallo tradition that took the genre's horrific elements to new over-the-top heights. The film and its soundtrack were so popular, Goblin subsequently ruled spaghetti splatter's golden era, their signature sound either hired or ripped off for virtually every Italian genre film made during the following decade. I like "Suspiria" better, as it's just crazier on every level, but Goblin's first work with Argento has its own imposing haunted house prog appeal. This particular version, found on the deluxe CD reissue of the soundtrack, fades in from a recording of the climactic death of the killer in the film. The choking and spilling you hear accompanies the fiend's decapitation by a chain attached to a rising elevator. Delicious!
1. The Simpsons, "Treehouse of Horror V" (Songs in the Key of Springfield, 1997) - Believe it or not, we're coming up on the 16th "Treehouse of Horrors" episode of "The Simpsons," the annual Halloween anthology which is of course one of my favorite TV traditions. The show is actually running during Halloween weekend this year, since the damn World Series will finally be over, no longer clogging FOX's Sunday lineup. The "Treehouse" is the one time per year the show's intro changes from the iconic trip through Springfield to a trip through the graveyard. It's also the rare instance of a "Simpsons" episode still seeming special these days, considering that most have some sort of guest star or gimmick behind them. From the show's first collection of audio highlights, this is the beginning of the installment which includes a parody of "The Shining" ("The Shinning"), Homer's time-traveling mishaps, Lunchlady Doris cooking schoolkids and our favorite animated family turned inside out by a malicious fog.
2. Dead Kennedys, "Halloween" (Plastic Surgery Disasters, 1982) - Of all the early West Coast hardcore acts, Dead Kennedys were most proficient at letting their freak flag fly. These dudes went against the grain of everything. Musically, East Bay Ray's surfy guitar tone was always unique, and the stylistic detours that began in earnest on their second LP, Plastic Surgery Disasters, continued until the end. Of course, Jello Biafra's lyrics were just as important, mixing gallows humor with progressive values and hatred for conventional or conservative ideologies. Thus, their wailin' take on the holiday chastises people who use it as their annual chance to be themselves, while hiding behind a mask of conformity the rest of the year. You know, like Ministry's "Everyday is Halloween," but more pissed.
3. Andre 3000 featuring Kelis, "Dracula's Wedding" (The Love Below, 2003) - On the same OutKast disc that gave us "Hey Ya!" is this funny little funk ditty about the Lord of the Vampires. It's one of many great but glanced-over tracks on Andre's half of Speakerboxxx/The Love Below, which was more scrutinized for his jazzy indulgences and that ubiquitous poppy single than for its oddball creative spirit. It's actually a not-so-subtle metaphor for an otherwise indefatigable male's fear of commitment, done up with a campy vampire theme. Kelis, the real-life wife of Nas, drops some groaner puns as the comely bride and manages to sound sexy doing it. Sure, I liked Idlewild more than most people did, but listening to this for the first time in a while made me realize that while Big Boi has a solo album about to drop, I sure could go for a new real OutKast album right about now.
4. A Little Girl, "I Want a Monster to Be My Friend" (The Sesame Street Monsters!, 1975) - During my senior year of high school, I went through a weird regression thing wherein I pulled all of my old children's records out of the basement and gave them another listen. This one was one of my favorites, and seems to have been pretty ubiquitous among people who grew up when I did. Monsters! featured songs by Cookie Monster, Grover, Herry (remember him?) and numerous other pre-Elmo creatures, all in the name of teaching kids that not everything that appears scary wants to do them harm. The album has been reissued on CD, but it was retitled and this particular song was zapped because of parental complaints that its lyrics could potentially be miscontrued as having a sick pedophilic connotation. I'll admit, it sounded dirty to me as a teenager, but this overreaction is a good example of the sort of behavior I have against parents in general.
5. GWAR, "Vlad the Impaler" (Scumdogs of the Universe, 1990) - Before "Beavis and Butt-head" made them national punchlines, GWAR was a scrappy little troupe of art school types who started to make a satirical B-movie about an alien monster rock band. They staged some concerts to raise money for the flick, and before long, thanks to theatrical and messy DIY stage shows, found themselves a popular touring punk/metal act. They used to play in Chicago every Halloween, ensuring that fans covered in fake blood, shit and other bodily secretions fit in while flooding the streets after the show. However, their music was unjustly dismissed, when it was often very catchy, frequently experimental and always perversely subversive, like the Dead Kennedys with onstage eviscerations. GWAR continues today as a sad, scaled-down self-parody, but this infectious thrash ode to the original Dracula is a reminder of when they were great. Choice lyrics include "When he was a boy, they sent him to the Turks/But you know they didn't like him because all the Turks were jerks" and "He could have been a whaler/Could have been a tailor/He turned out to be Norman Mailer."
6. The Aquabats, "Cat With 2 Heads!" (The Fury of the Aquabats!, 1997) - The Aquabats wear costumes and fight foes during their concerts, sort of like GWAR if they were more into ska and new wave than hardcore. Their Saturday morning action cartoon antics have delighted thousands of sugar-fueled kids, the so-called Aquacadets who hold infrequent conventions ("Cadet Summits") in the bemasked band's honor. Although they've left the ska influences behind in favor of Devo-punk weirdness, they're infrequent on the recording front and their ranks have shrunk in recent times, you'd have to be one sour bastard to not enjoy these dudes in a live setting. Here's a sweet saga of mad science gone awry from their second album, the one featuring Blink-182 cheeseball Travis Barker on drums.
7. Fabio Frizzi, "Voci dal Nulla" (L'Aldilà, 1981) - Although he's now a cult icon, poor Lucio Fulci never got much respect when he was alive and working. This is probably due to the fact that the 1979 film that made the Italian director's international name, "Zombi 2," was by all accounts crafted and released as a pure exploitation ripoff of George A. Romero's "Dawn of the Dead." "Zombie," as Fulci's flick is called in the States, is indeed much stupider and sloppier than its inspiration, but its ridiculousness (e.g. the infamous zombie/shark fight) is so creatively brazen and its atmosphere so enveloping that it achieves a sublime watchability on its own terms. Lucio lunatics consider the supernatural opus "L'Aldilà" (aka "The Beyond") his best film, and it's certainly the best introduction to his horror movies' unique combination of stylish shot composition, mind-boggling plot contrivances and outrageous gore effects. Frequent collaborator Frizzi's score seals it among the primary touchstones of the Italian splatter era. Just stay away from old American video releases entitled "Seven Doors of Death," which contain a severely cut pan-and-scan version with different music.
8. Misfits, "Astro Zombies" (Misfits aka Collection I, 1986) - Always welcome at any Halloween party, the Misfits cornered the schlock horror/punk market early on and are now a cultural institution. Today, the Jersey boys' Crimson Skull mascot is plastered on everything from cell phone faceplates to Henry Rollins' left forearm. I'll admit that I first heard 'em because of Metallica's covers of "Last Caress" and "Green Hell," and that they're my favorite punk band of all time, especially since their music isn't strictly punk. The Misfits model when this track was recorded (it first surfaced on 1982's "Walk Among Us") was early rock n' roll, which can be heard in its sloppy "whoa-oas" and jacked-up '50s boogie, common traits of such tunes which have held up for several generations of Fiends. By the way, Glenn Danzig's lyrics don't really have anything to do with Ted V. Mikels' 1968 "The Astro-Zombies," but that snoozefest would make for such a boring song, it's not a problem.
9. Gnarls Barkley, "The Boogie Monster" (St. Elsewhere, 2006) - More than their costume gimmicks and prior musical pedigree, Gnarls Barkley brings an interesting sense of unease to the iPods of the world. Danger Mouse's hip-pop background often features spooky pianos and noirish atmosphere, while Cee-Lo croons and howls his way through lyrics obsessed with millennial madness, isolation and inner demons. And despite all this, it stays groovy, memorable and accessible. I'm saying this based on the debut, since I still haven't heard The Odd Couple, but everything from this summer's Lollapalooza set to most reviews I've read confirm that the freaky, fucked-up vibe remains. Here's a perfect paranoid number for the season, one which could easily have become a standard on Halloween-themed CD compilations if Cee-Lo hadn't ended the song by soliciting a blowjob.
10. Be Your Own Pet, "Zombie Graveyard Party!" (Get Awkward, 2008) - I was kind of torn on Nashville teen punks Be Your Own Pet, who announced their breakup a few months ago. They were awfully energetic, so much so that what they lacked in instrumental or vocal precision was more than made up for in sheer bonkers audacity. I can respect that approach, even enjoy it... like, The Coke Dares are seriously rocking me this year. But on top of being so in-your-face, Be Your Own Pet were kind of annoying, cloyingly and calculatedly juvenile in the lyric department, the music abrasive and tuneless yet also harmless, like a major label's attempt to translate the no wave movement to Atreyu fans. This is the only track I wholeheartedly enjoyed from their second and final album. It's inspired by "Return of the Living Dead," one of the best-loved splatter comedies of the '80s, and it's actually catchy.
11. Herschell Gordon Lewis, "Blood Feast (Main Title)" (The Eye-Popping Sounds of Herschell Gordon Lewis, 2002) - Ah, Herschell Gordon Lewis. A Chicago ad man turned exploitation filmmaker, Lewis cranked out dozens of flicks covering such lurid topics as wife swapping, vicious female bikers, nudist colonies, out-of-control teens, moonshine runners, birth control, the nudie picture business and country singers who run for the U.S. Senate. He's written tons of books on successful marketing. However, he'll always be known for making seven flicks spanning 1963 to 1972 which gave him the nickname "Godfather of Gore." The very first movie ever crafted for the express purpose of its onscreen bloodletting was "Blood Feast." Longtime readers remember my love for this z-grade schlockfest, while the rest of you can catch up here. This is its main title theme, from a disc compiling his movies' sonic highlights. It was composed and performed by Herschell himself, and it's just as odd, laughable and endearing as the flick it introduces. In case you haven't seen it, Lewis' 2002 comeback, "Blood Feast 2: All U Can Eat," was surprisingly not a disappointment.
12. Nekromantix, "What's on Your Neighbor's BBQ" (Dead Girls Don't Cry, 2004) - I always feel like I should get into more psychobilly. Then I'll hear a disc like the one at hand by this long-running Danish outfit, and I'll instantly shrug off that feeling. The Nekromantix have a lot of ingredients that should make me like them: fast punk n' roll tunes with thick stand-up bass, horror-themed lyrics, spooky make-up, coffin-shaped instruments. They've got the image, the look and the sound; all that's missing are great songs. I gather that Dead Girls Don't Cry is considered one of their worst albums, or at least the point at which the Nekromantix lost whatever mojo they previously had, since founder Kim Nekroman had relocated to America. But, hey, it's the one I've heard, and this cheeky cannibal ditty is the best song on it - not bad, but not exactly inspiring me to hunt down more. Despite all this, one day I'll get around to checking out Demented Are Go, highly praised Welsh psychobillies who are hopefully better than these dudes.
13. Alice Cooper, "He's Back (The Man Behind the Mask) (movie mix)" (The Life and Crimes of Alice Cooper, 1999) - Although he's the indisputable king of horror-themed rock music, Alice Cooper hasn't fully embraced his spooky image on record as often as you'd imagine. In the mid-80s, though, his reinvention as a commercial heavy metal singer came with an allegiance to cinematic mayhem, monsters and murder. Witness his sole lead movie role, as a rock superstar bedeviled by a werewolf curse in the ridiculous "Leviatán" (aka "Monster Dog"), directed by the guy behind such astounding Italian cheesefests as "Troll 2" and "Rats: Night of Terror." Around the same period, he also appeared as a possessed hobo in John Carpenter's underrated "Prince of Darkness" and provided the theme song (it kicked off the second side of his album Raise Your Fist and Yell, comprised of a five-song suite that's some of the best campy horror rock the '80s had to offer). Prior to "Prince," Alice did this synth-choked theme song for "Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives." This alternate mix comes from the great AC box set.
14. Hammer, "Addams Groove" (Too Legit to Quit, 1991) - Oh, is this painful! When Barry Sonnenfeld's first "Addams Family" movie was in production, MC Hammer decided to drop the "MC" from his stage name. One would assume this was to minimize his association with genuine rappers, considering the ridiculous marketing blitz that accompanied his third album, Too Legit, fortunately his last hurrah. Although he laid the social and religious messages on thickly, his true colors as a capitalist pop shill shone through by including this idiotic commercial concocted for the end credits of the "Addams" flick. I can't think of many rappers who were less suited to stylish dark comedy than this lite-funk, low-top fade jackass. Truth be told, I only included this song because I couldn't find a good mp3 of Tag Team's "Addams Family (Whoomp!)" (from the superior sequel, "Addams Family Values"). That one's even stupider, so crass and pointless as to cross into hilarious territory.
15. AFI, "'Fall Children" (All Hallows, 1999) - A Fire Inside wasn't always a weak-ass emo-goth Vegas act. They actually started out as middle-of-the-road melodic hardcore merchants before embracing ominous intros and a ghoulish appearance obviously inspired by the Misfits. Vocalist Davey Havok eventually took his "Evil Elvis" worship to the extreme in Son of Sam, a project made up of former Samhain and Danzig members who I assumed were a one-off collaboration until a second album recently surfaced... naturally, Davey's too big a douchebag rock star to participate now. For a few CDs back at the turn of the millennium, however, he was behind some pretty enjoyable stuff, with lyrical allusions to shadows and souls giving it some dimension beyond your typical straight-edge slugfest. This rousing ode to autumn and its adherents is perhaps my favorite. It comes from the same EP as "Totalimmortal," which was soon afterward turned into a hit as covered by those creampuffs in The Offspring.
16. The Alan Parsons Project, "The Raven" (Tales of Mystery and Imagination, 1976) - Who doesn't like hearing the trippy lite-Floyd strains of "Time" while shopping for groceries, or the spacy instrumental "Sirius" when the Chicago Bulls take the court? People who don't like The Alan Parsons Project, I guess. Parsons and minions don't bother me. In fact, I'm quite fond of the debut album, a very dated, British concept platter based on the writings of Edgar Allen Poe. Its dusty theatrical/neoclassical trappings don't sound very much like Parsons' later radio hits. "The Raven" is one of the first widely-released songs to have used a digital vocoder to alter a human voice, with Parsons singing verses adapted from Poe through the device. It seems funny that back in 1976, the effect could be used to evoke the "eerie" atmosphere of classic suspense stories rather than the futuristic sci-fi connotations the vocoder has today (no, it's not the same thing as the "Cher/T-Pain effect"). The non-vocoder singing vocals here are by actor Leonard Whiting, who played Romeo in that Franco Zeffirelli "Romeo and Juliet" movie you probably had to watch in high school.
17. Ramones, "Pet Sematary" (Brain Drain, 1989) - As I once said during an Xmas music post, while not revered, Brain Drain is not a terrible Ramones album. It was the last one featuring Dee Dee on bass, and despite some gimmicks and a muddy recording, it manages to rock pretty hard for its time. The biggest argument against this is "Pet Sematary," a single concocted for a flick that happens to be one of the few decent Stephen King adaptations - at least of his horror novels, which are typically softened with lukewarm results (or, in the case of "The Shining," reworked with equally creepy results). Johnny's rainy-day guitar sound and Joey's sing-song chorus are far removed from the aggressive likes of classics like "Chainsaw" or "Commando," and although the lyrics are directly related to the plot, they really don't convey the film's overwhelmingly bleak tone. Among gaudy '80s tie-in songs, though, the Ramones' "Sematary" is surely better than The Fat Boys' "Are You Ready for Freddy?"
18. Thee Undatakerz, "Grave Undataking" (Kool Keith Presents Thee Undatakerz, 2004) - Kool Keith first delivered his spin on horrorcore - unsurprisingly, he claims to have invented it - on his 1999 album as Dr. Dooom, First Come, First Served. It's one of Keith's best full-lengths, teeming with the legendary MC's customary perverse bile, but nowhere near as insularly cranky or sexually creepy as he later became. A few years later, he squeaked out this disappointing one-shot group album on which he barely appears. Thee Undatakerz didn't play up their horror angle as often as they should have, as this is one of their few cuts that actually sound horror-y. The deep, distorted voice at the end belongs to my favorite Undataker, a dude in metal mask calling himself The Funeral Director. Although they somehow got the terrible dance song "Party in the Morgue" on the "Blade: Trinity" soundtrack, the group soon disappeared. Now, to my delight, a second Dr. Dooom album finally surfaced last month. While I haven't gotten my economically-challenged hands on it yet, the grindhouse trailer-inspired video for the lead single, in which he once again kills alter ego Dr. Octagon, gives me hope that it's better than haphazard shit such as Thee Undatakerz.
19. Deceased, "The Doll with the Hideous Spirit" (Supernatural Addiction, 2000) - Here's a Halloween-y metal song with a cooler pedigree than one might surmise. Deceased is a long-running band from Virginia that were among the first to play the ugly form of thrash known early on as "death metal," and while they've become more influenced by melodic classic metal over time, they still admirably navigate those archaic '80s death/thrash borders. They've always been a horror-centered group, but since vocalist King Fowley is as obsessed with obscure genre movies as he is obscure defunct heavy metal acts, Deceased usually offers a more esoteric take than your typical group. Supernatural Addiction contains some of the band's most accessible material, and it's unique among horror-themed metal albums in that inspiration for all but one track comes from anthological sources such as episodes of "The Twilight Zone" and the British omnibus flicks of Amicus Productions. This one's about "Amelia," the most famous segment of the 1975 TV movie "Trilogy of Terror" - the one starring Karen Black and the killer Zuni hunter doll.
20. Goblin, "Profondo Rosso (original sound effect)" (Profondo Rosso, 1975) - Finally, here's the most famous musical act in Italian horror film history. Progressive rockers Cherry Five changed their name to Goblin when they composed this music for Dario Argento's "Profondo Rosso" (aka "Deep Red"), a murder mystery in the giallo tradition that took the genre's horrific elements to new over-the-top heights. The film and its soundtrack were so popular, Goblin subsequently ruled spaghetti splatter's golden era, their signature sound either hired or ripped off for virtually every Italian genre film made during the following decade. I like "Suspiria" better, as it's just crazier on every level, but Goblin's first work with Argento has its own imposing haunted house prog appeal. This particular version, found on the deluxe CD reissue of the soundtrack, fades in from a recording of the climactic death of the killer in the film. The choking and spilling you hear accompanies the fiend's decapitation by a chain attached to a rising elevator. Delicious!
posted by SoulReaper at 7:47 PM
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That's them back in the day. What an ugly bunch of jokers, eh? To my young ears, these German dudes with bizarre names like Kai Hansen and Ingo Schwichtenberg were some sort of crazy European wizards or something. Keeper 2 uprooted everything I thought I loved or understood about music. It sounded nothing like the commercial heavy metal I'd heard on Z-95, nor was it the foul and evil clatter that I'd imagined from the genre's arcane horror-flick trappings. Some of it was craaaazy fast, faster than anything on the tape by Metallica, who always tempered their speed with alternating tempos. Even if they were not, Helloween just felt faster, their bright guitars (often locked into jubilant harmony during the fast-paced solos) and precise percussion rocketing the whole thing forward like a roller coaster's initial drop. Other songs were midpaced, but retained the anthemic quality that glued the speedy tunes to my brain. The singer had this voice that could trumpet like a Teutonic god at high pitches, yet glow with warm humanity at lower ones. There was this deeper guitar-y sounding thing that occasionally played different melodies, something I later learned was a "bass guitar," a crucial component of a rock band which was often mixed into inaudible pulp in the radio metal of the time (there are techno albums that sound less fake than Def Leppard's Hysteria). Over time, Keeper 2 taught me not only what a bass guitar was, but to consider things about music that had never occurred to me: how different people who write songs in the same band have unique styles, that it's possible to sing about things you don't like in a sarcastic or even constructive manner, that a song can be over 13 minutes long and hold your attention throughout, that the little part after a verse and before a chorus is called a "bridge."
So last winter, when Helloween and Gamma Ray announced their first joint tour in Europe, I was stoked. The idea of Weikath and Hansen performing in the same building on the same bill brought giddy visions of the hairy pair laying out those famed axe harmonies back to back as in the days of yore. It's something that never seemed important enough to anyone but myself to actually happen. Even more, it seemed inconceivable that I would see with my own eyes this momentous reunion, this symbolic forgiveness of old injuries by guys whose lyrical legacy is rooted in notions of fellowship and compassion. Then, they announced that the package was coming to the States, including the aforementioned date at The Pearl Room, the Mokena venue where all the real, non-trendy metal tours make their "Chicago" stop these days. I just about fudged my Fruit of the Looms.
I realize I haven't said anything positive about the show yet. Well, I was grouchy about the wait. As soon as Gamma Ray came on, I felt better. These dudes perform like classic German engineering: clean, dependable, efficient, precise. I'd seen the 
As I said, Helloween took a ridiculous amount of time getting their asses out of the dressing room. I've waited less time for GWAR to come out, even when they opened for themselves as the X-Cops and had to change costumes between sets. The crowd was so pissed that they started two separate chants of "What! The! Fuck!?" I was so sore-footed and sober by then, I joined in. I have never seen that happen for a headliner, let alone veterans who hadn't played an area date in five years. I mean, damn. By the time the recorded intro ("Crack the Riddle" from the new one, Gambling With the Devil) finally started, most people in the reasonably-filled venue seemed too tired to respond much.
