Shock after shock after shock

This year's Halloween playlist is brought to you by "Shock Festival." You see, earlier in 2010, I was browsing the DVD selection at a local electronics superstore when I happened across a reasonably-priced set called "Shock Festival." It promised a collection of exploitation film trailers, a second disc with a horror trailer "reel" and a third disc entirely filled with mp3s of vintage exploitation movie radio ads, transferred from the original vinyl. The package said this was all a companion to a book by Stephen Romano which had apparently caused a stir among sicko cinephiles and fans of good reading. I am not as hip as I attempt to seem, and I had not heard of the book. However, the discs came home with me immediately.

This is indeed a fine collection of trailers. The selection of oddities on the first disc includes "Treasure of the Four Crowns" (the flop 3D follow-up to "Comin' At Ya!"), the trippy French animation "Fantastic Planet," the softcore staple "2069: A Sex Odyssey" and Cronenberg's car racing drama "Fast Company." The horror set is truly excellent, with essential ads for infamous flicks like "Snuff," "Great White" and "Mark of the Devil." In addition, you get a bunch of TV ads ("Cry of a Prostitute," "The House That Dripped Blood," "Rollerball") and a slate of films released by Independent International Pictures ("Brides of Blood," "Satan's Sadists," "Blazing Stewardesses"). Finally, there's a series of trailers for fake movies a la "Grindhouse," these having been based upon the "Shock Festival" book. While none of these homemade jobs have the genuinely retro flavor of a "Don't" or even a "Hobo With a Shotgun," some of them are done pretty well, and combined with Romano's informative, engaging and downright righteous commentary tracks, the concept convinced me to hunt down the 2008 book.

Folks, "Shock Festival" is hands-down the best book I've read in 2010. It is, upon first glance, a giant, heavy, lavishly-designed coffee table book dedicated to classic exploitation films and the colorful characters who made them. Each chapter concerns one or several interrelated movies, providing behind-the-scenes info, interviews and discussion of the movies' place in cinema history. Nudie potboilers, seedy action, no-budget sci-fi, transgressive horror, underground animation, psychedelic exploration and cynical blaxploitation are all represented. As it spans the 1970s and 1980s, the reader is gradually introduced to a fascinating mix of actors, producers, writers and directors whose careers and personal lives intertwined or ran parallel. Some are woefully overlooked, some dangerously wild, some hilariously misguided, some tragically hopeful. Full-color posters and promotional materials, photos from personal collections, newspaper ads and other memorabilia augment the superiorly rendered package.

The book's authenticity and continuity are impressive, especially considering that all of the films and people inside (except Romano, who manages to write himself into the narrative without it becoming a gimmick) are the product of the author's mind. The fictional characters and events may mingle with actual low-budget film history, but sadly, there is not really a lost Italian movie called "Sharkhunters" about damaged Vietnam vets brutally avenging their familes' deaths by shark attack. It's a unique way to present a novel, and the true shock is that in the end, the multifaceted story proves emotionally satisfying. It's much more than a clever list of really awesome ideas for movies that should exist. A blurb on the back cover from Dread Central (whose Uncle Creepy donates an absolutely painful pair of commentary tracks on the DVD trailer reels) praises "Shock Festival" as "'Grindhouse' meets 'Spinal Tap,'" but I'd replace "Spinal Tap" with "Boogie Nights."

The only thing negative I have to mention about the book is its large number of misspellings and other typos. It's such an intricately-designed work, if only that detail had been more thoroughly attended to, "Shock Festival" would be perfect. As it is, the human imperfections hint at the hands-on love that is evident throughout. However, I would like to tell Mr. Romano that I absolutely love, and am mildly obsessed with his book, and if he ever wants someone to do a more thorough read-through before his next one is published, I would very gladly donate my time in exchange for a free copy of the finished product.

So, the aforementioned companion set came out earlier this year, and it's similarly amazing, other than the enthusiastic but content-light Uncle Creepy commentary tracks (seriously, most of it's like, "Aw, yeah! Look at that guy doing that thing! I love movies like this!"). From the third disc, I chose 19 horror movie radio spots, plus one for a stage show based on a Mark Pirro direct-to-video classic, and made a Halloween playlist. I did this partially out of a desire to do something different with the list this year, partially out of laziness, and partially to show off these great vintage ads. Happy Halloween. Enjoy your fun-sized Snickers.

1. "The Gruesome Twosome"/"Something Weird"
2. "They're Coming to Get You"
3. "The Astro-Zombies"
4. "Grizzly"
5. "Twilight People"
6. "Nudist Colony of the Dead"
7. "Deranged"
8. "Squirm"
9. "Cannibal Girls"/"Raw Meat"
10. "House of Usher"
11. "Dr. Black, Mr. Hyde"
12. "Destroy All Monsters"
13. "The Corpse Grinders"/"The Undertaker and His Pals"/"The Embalmer"
14. "Horror of the Blood Monsters"
15. "Maniac"
16. "The Night Visitor"
17. "A Knife for the Ladies"
18. "Ruby"
19. "From Beyond the Grave"
20. "Phantasm"

Terror 2000

It's October, even though it's 80 degrees outside. Just as I am happily settling into fall, the accursed heat decides to creep in and nearly ruin my weekend. This is, frankly, horseshit. I live in the Midwest. I shouldn't have to run my air conditioning this late in the calendar year.

Well, the trees know what time of year it is, as do the stores and TV channels. I am naturally looking forward to Halloween, even if my costume is still half-formed at the moment. I plan to celebrate extra hard this year, and this extends to my once-flourishing blog. For the first of two spooky playlists, here's a look back at 20 good horror movies from the '00s. I picked at least one from every year, and tried to mix it up while staying away from the most obvious franchises (for the record, I'll take "The Ring" or "Hostel" over "The Grudge" or "Saw" any day). Some you'll definitely recognize, some you may not know at all. I can vouch for all of 'em.



1. "Final Destination" (2000) - This mainstream funhouse ride from former "X-Files" folks came on the tail end of the post-"Scream" teen slasher craze, hence its dreary "bunch of people standing against a black background" poster. It transcended its marketing with brilliant kill scenes and the downbeat message that no one can escape the clutches of death, which all of its sequels except the inferior second installment have carried forth.

2. "Uzumaki" (2000) - Once you start digging, you realize that a lot of modern Japanese horror is either irritatingly similar or clinically distasteful. This manga adaptation is a one-of-a-kind exception, a tale of small town mass madness that is low on cheap jolts but long on visually stunning Lynchian weirdness.

3. "Ginger Snaps" (2000) - The smart, female-centered horror film has really blossomed over the past decade, with some good results ("May") and some not so much ("Jennifer's Body"). This Canadian classic about two close teen sisters growing apart is not only the prototype, but the best. Yeah, it's an adolescent allegory with werewolves, but it has more in common with "Heathers" than with "New Moon."

4. "The Others" (2001) - I love a nice extreme horror movie, but once in a while a more understated picture is made by the right people and manages to be more impressive than a thousand chainsaw manglings. From the foreboding atmosphere to the riveting performances by Nicole Kidman and the kids, everything clicks creepily in this supernatural story of unraveling faith.

5. "Bones" (2001) - Slick, violent fun with a vague social conscience, Snoop Dogg's first foray into horror films brought back the spirit of '70s blaxploitation horror more confidently than did its most visible predecessor, 1995's "Tales from the Hood." Director Ernest Dickerson was the DP on all of Spike Lee's great early movies, and he also directed the loveable "Tales from the Crypt Presents: Demon Night."

6. "Dagon" (2001) - The dudes behind "Re-Animator" and "From Beyond" dipped back into Lovecraft and left out the splatter humor for a more visceral, unrelenting sort of spookshow. The damp, enveloping atmosphere of the rainy island setting is only let down by a few lousy digital effects, while the international cast and crew lend the movie a uniquely "foreign" flavor.

7. "Jason X" (2002) - Many people seem to hate it, but I think the 10th "Friday the 13th" installment is one of the series' best in that it completely embraces, enhances and sends up the ludicrous conventions of its predecessors. Jason is cryogenically frozen, awoken in space and eventually becomes a cyborg, and unlike the time he took Manhattan, the carnage that ensues lives up to the premise's gimmicky promise.

8. "Cabin Fever" (2002) - A throwback gorefest about a group of complete douchebags attacked in the woods by a flesh-eating virus, Eli Roth's directorial debut is a gloppy, sloppy mess of audience manipulation. Grimly gross and amiably wacky in different places, it bears the slimy mark of true Troma fandom (after all, Roth provided the legendary commentary on Troma's "Bloodsucking Freaks" DVD).

9. "House of 1000 Corpses" (2003) - We waited three years to see Rob Zombie's first movie, which was held up and ultimately dumped by Universal because it supposedly got slapped with an NC-17 for content, then picked up and dropped by MGM before finally being scavenged by Lionsgate, the New Line Cinema of the '00s. The final release was a crazed jumble of goofy and grueling horror images largely informed by "The Texas Chain Saw Massacre," not a classic but perfect background noise for a Halloween party.

10. "Willard" (2003) - Although remake fever blighted the decade, and has of course spilled into the next, not all remakes are bad, as evidenced by this update of the '70s favorite by the "Final Destination" guys. Everybody's favorite flake Crispin Glover is perfect as the put-upon misfit who finds friendship and acceptance in a horde of intelligent, homicidal rats.

11. "Toolbox Murders" (2004) - Tobe Hooper's first good movie in more than a decade was also a remake, but much like Crispin Glover's turn as "The Wizard of Gore," "Toolbox" was really a remake in name only. Hooper's compellingly bizarro re-imagining of the 1978 video nasty starring the ever-interesting Angela Bettis only retained the seedy apartment setting and gory hardware dispatchings.

12. "The Descent" (2005) - Ostensibly a story about a group of women who go spelunking and stumble across a batch of hungry subterranean beasts, Neil Marshall's follow-up to the enterprising "Dog Soldiers" drifts in a somber haze of encroaching dread from its opening tragedy. It's smart, suffocating and primal, the best pure horror movie the UK's given us since Clive Barker's flesh-ripping salad days.

13. "Slither" (2006) - Former Troma/"Scooby Doo" screenwriter James Gunn made his (credited) feature debut with this shockingly great horror comedy in which small town yokels are besieged by alien slugs with a hive mind. With just the right pace, attitude and amount of gross-out fun, plus a game cast, it rises above schlock as the '80s greats it emulates did.

14. "Feast" (2006) - One of the best things to come out of reality television in general, "Feast" was the subject of the final season of "Project Greenlight," which simultaneously moved from HBO to Bravo and from tedious indie dramas to a boisterous splatterfest. As the occupants of a shithole bar fight off bloodthirsty creatures, it's like the second half of "From Dusk Till Dawn," but cheaper, faster, louder and nuttier.

15. "Mulberry Street" (2006) - If you can forgive its obvious microbudget, this underheralded feature from the ever-popular After Dark Horrorfest is a unique take on the infestation movie, and not just because it creatively involves people turning into rat-beasts. Debuting director Jim Mickle's confidence and vision turned meager resources into a stylish, intimate post-9/11 NYC monster movie.

16. "28 Weeks Later" (2007) - I like Danny Boyle's zombie-ish original just fine, but I prefer the sequel to 2002's "28 Days Later" because it's a rare horror franchise entry that doesn't lighten the mood with commercial aspirations. Instead, from its nail-biter opening, where we get a protagonist we can't side with, it delves into bleaker territory, as much about entropy as "Days" was about evolution.

17. "The Mist" (2007) - Given Frank Darabont's track record with Stephen King adaptations, I'm glad he finally decided to do one of the horror stories. This look at small-town folks trapped in a supermarket by an enveloping, inscrutable, monster-filled mist isn't perfect (the interpersonal confrontations are contrived and it's too long), but the ambience is right and the ending is, appropriately, a real downer.

18. "Diary of the Dead" (2008) - At first, I wasn't very thrilled about George Romero's foray into hand-held zombie horror, as despite some neat sequences (the hospital) and quick-flash gore effects, it's not a great zombie movie. George has become more of an "idea" guy, and upon subsequent viewings, it's clear to me that he still has keen insight into human failings, and he's pretty hip about how modern technology impacts the way we address our fears.

19. "Let the Right One In" (2008) - Everybody loves this stark, quiet Swedish movie about a bullied kid befriending a little girl in his apartment complex who turns out to be an ancient vampire. Who the hell knows why it needed to be faithfully remade in America two years later, but it seems the new version by the guy who made "Cloverfield" that opened last weekend is already a flop.

20. "Drag Me to Hell" (2009) - It took a lot of convincing to get me to watch Sam Raimi's PG-13 "return to horror," as I expected the guy who made "For Love of the Game" to deliver the sort of heartless product that Wes Craven grudgingly shits out these days. Instead, the dubious prospect of a bank loan agent cursed by a gypsy becomes ten tons of fun thanks to Sam's seriously zany (and surprisingly graphic) sequences. Somehow, the film's legitimacy never gets in its way.