They Call Me MISTER Trash!
I just figured out that you can make a video playlist on YouTube and embed it elsewhere. I'm sure this is old news to everyone else, but, hey.
So, being an exploitation movie trailer fanatic, as well as a big proponent of exploitation movie trailer compilations, I put together a nice batch of 20 fun trailers from the golden years with an ever-flowing theme. The inaugural collection includes bouncing boobs, degenerate despots, fierce futurescapes, kung fu kicks and pervasive paranoia of the ass-whipping sort. Please note that I didn't upload any of these myself, and that at present, I've only seen eight of them. I don't think I need to tell you this is NOT SAFE FOR WORK, but I might as well. Expect this sort of thing to become part of the rotation here at EK, at least until I get sick of it.
1. An intro.
2. "Beneath the Valley of the Ultravixens" (1979): Russ Meyer's final eye-popping melodrama. This ad may seem high-octane, but the hyperbole and heterosexism are as thickly applied throughout the entire movie, ensuring that the breast fetishist and underheralded craftsman went out with a suitably raunchy bang. It is a truly crazy film, extremely personal in that it reflects all of Meyer's red-blooded obsessions, and a lot of fun if you can put up with the legend's unashamedly Neanderthal attitudes - his buxom ladies are always his strongest characters.
3. "Screwballs" (1983): When I was a pre-teen boy, this Canadian-made cable classic (with a cameo by Russ Meyer vet Raven De La Croix) was my favorite of the low-rent teen sex comedies. As with all things '80s, these sorts of flicks are currently cultivating a nostalgic cult following. Now that it's unbelievably out on Blu-Ray, its perverted zeal should finally get its due.
4. "H.O.T.S." (1979): Never seen this one, but it's another jokey jigglefest from the days when T&A was a booming movie genre, set at a college (H.O.T.S. is a sorority) rather than a high school. One of its alternate titles is actually "T&A Academy." Look for a guest appearance by a desperate post-"Partridge Family" actor.
5. "Caligula: The Untold Story" (1982): Director Joe D'Amato and actress Laura Gemser made a crapload of sleazy Eurotrash softcore movies together, most famously the lurid "Black Emanuelle" series. This collab was obviously a knock-off of the Tinto Brass/Bob Guccione "Caligula" and features the director of my favorite movie of the '90s getting his tongue cut out. As with many flicks of its time and genre, XXX versions exist, with hardcore sex scenes clumsily inserted.
6. "SS Experiment Love Camp" (1976): I've seen even fewer Nazisploitation movies than I have "Black Emanuelle" entries... the first "Ilsa" was enough for me. Folks, these are the real "torture porns," unsavory (mostly) Italian jobs that center on fascist regalia, dull wartime drama and a lot of abused white girls. General consensus is that this flick, which includes a romantic subplot(!), is one of the less stomach-turning entries.
7. "The Black Gestapo" (1975): In the '70s drive-in milieu, even black militants could march in line behind the crooked cross to strike terror into the hearts of their enemies. This doozy (from the director of "Love Camp 7," the world's first Nazisploitation flick) stars Mac from "Night Court" as a jackbooted radical who beats the bad whiteys, only to become as bad as they were once absolute power corrupts him.
8. "The Inglorious Bastards" (1978): No, not the new one - Tarantino got the name for his recent triumph from a mislabeled copy of this obscure Italian movie at that famed video store where he once worked. Fred "The Hammer" Williamson, Bo Svenson and pals get embroiled in a plot to steal from the Nazis while avoiding their American countrymen, from whom they escaped on the way to military prison.
9. "1990: The Bronx Warriors" (1982): "Inglorious Bastards" director Enzo G. Castellari is better known for this post-apocalyptic knock-off of "The Warriors," where he once again gave Fred Williamson the chance to grit his teeth and mug like a B-movie champ. I reviewed it in an old post, but for those who don't remember that, suffice it to say that it was the last movie Vic Morrow finished before he was killed on the set of "Twilight Zone: The Movie," and the fey, headbanded hero is literally named Trash.
10. "Hands of Steel" (1986): On my most-wanted list of Italian '80s action flicks, this ranks up there with "Endgame" and "Blastfighter." Taking a few pages from "The Terminator," it's the sensitive tale of a cyborg assassin (played by Woody Harrelson's dad from the beginning of "Kingpin") who arm wrestles his way into the heart of a bar owner while wasting corporate villains in the future. "Bronx Warriors" bad guy George Eastman, the Italotrash hero born Luigi Montefiori, plays a menacing truck driver.
11. "Turkey Shoot" (1982): The future didn't only look bleak in Italy; after all, Australia gave us "Mad Max," as well as this gory dystopian hybrid of prison trashfest and "The Most Dangerous Game." It was released in America as "Escape 2000," which was coincidentally the same title given to Castellari's "Bronx Warriors" sequel. The director was also responsible for the ridiculous-looking cult item "Stunt Rock" and went on to such ignoble efforts as "Leprechaun 4: In Space" and "Megiddo: The Omega Code 2."
12. "Trancers" (1985): A relic from the days when Charles Band still made enjoyable schlock and Helen Hunt wasn't yet known as Paul Reiser's TV bedmate. Stonefaced Tim Thomerson is great here as a hard-boiled future cop searching for a zombiemaster terrorist who is sent back through time to possess his lookalike ancestor in then-present-day Los Angeles. There are five direct-to-video sequels to date; Thomerson was in four of them, while Hunt was in two.
13. "Gymkata" (1986): So, you like flicks about covert martial arts tournaments a la the epochal "Enter the Dragon," but you're also stuck in post-1984 Summer Olympics gymnastics thrall? This celebrated flop, from the director of "Dragon" and starring real-life gymnast Kurt Thomas, was made for you, although the formula sadly did not catch on. Before today, I never realized it was an MGM production. I totally would have guessed Cannon.
14. "The Octagon" (1980): Home gym spokesman Chuck Norris was far more successful as a whitebread martial arts star than Kurt Thomas was. Here's an ad from his youthful heyday, one of his most ludicrous chop-socky epics in which he takes on a consortium of ninjas led by Lee Van Cleef while talking to himself in incessant voice-overs. It's believed to be the first of the American-made ninja flicks, although "Enter the Ninja" made a bigger splash on that front.
15. "Revenge of the Ninja" (1983): Cannon's follow-up to "Enter the Ninja," and the predecessor to the absolutely insane "Ninja III: The Domination." Genre icon Shô Kosugi plays a ninja trying to escape his tragically blood-soaked past by moving to California and selling dolls, but has to contend with a ruthless, heroin-smuggling ninja business partner. I can't wait for Kosugi's long-awaited return to the screen in a couple of months, battling Colbert nemesis Rain as the villain in the mainstream action bonanza "Ninja Assassin."
16. "Vigilante" (1983): It seems that I just can't get away from the great Fred Williamson. Here, he joins Robert Forster and some other dudes to take back the streets from the criminal scum in a gruesome, grimy slice of reactionary '80s action cinema. I wrote about it briefly in a real old post.
17. "Rolling Thunder" (1977): Cinema informs us that ex-POW Vietnam vets are ticking time bombs. Why would you steal from one, grind off his hand in a garbage disposal and kill his family, but not make sure he's dead? He's just gonna put on a sharp hook, grab Tommy Lee Jones and hunt your ass down, as does overlooked character actor William Devane in this neglected thriller from the writer of such downbeat classics as "Taxi Driver" and "Hardcore." Great voiceover work on this ad by the unmistakable Percy Rodriguez.
18. "The Crazies" (1973): George A. Romero's most underrated movie is this awesome portrait of human downfall, similar to his almighty "Dead" series in that it involves the spread of a plague and the authorities' attempts to deal with it. Instead of becoming zombies, though, people turn crazy and turn on each other. Michael Eisner's kid has remade it as an action flick... even with Timothy Olyphant as the lead, I have my doubts.
19. "Blue Sunshine" (1976): Another anxious antique from those paranoid '70s, this one involving former hippies whose previous ingestion of the titular LSD batch causes them to lose their hair and embark on murderous rampages. Cult director Jeff Lieberman brings back the transgressions of the '60s to haunt politician Mark Goddard (Major Don West from "Lost in Space"). The guy who directed "9½ Weeks" is the main star.
20. "God Told Me To" (1976): One last bit of disco-era mass hysteria before we go. Larry Cohen's people-going-bonkers picture revolves around a cop investigating random murders committed by average folks who utter the film's title whenever asked for a motive. The answer to the mystery is pretty nutty, to say the least. It stars Tony Lo Bianco from "The Honeymoon Killers," and Andy Kaufman shows up as a cop who turns the NYC St. Patrick's Day parade into target practice. The trailer's voiceover talent is Ernie Anderson, the voice of ABC in my youth.
So, being an exploitation movie trailer fanatic, as well as a big proponent of exploitation movie trailer compilations, I put together a nice batch of 20 fun trailers from the golden years with an ever-flowing theme. The inaugural collection includes bouncing boobs, degenerate despots, fierce futurescapes, kung fu kicks and pervasive paranoia of the ass-whipping sort. Please note that I didn't upload any of these myself, and that at present, I've only seen eight of them. I don't think I need to tell you this is NOT SAFE FOR WORK, but I might as well. Expect this sort of thing to become part of the rotation here at EK, at least until I get sick of it.
1. An intro.
2. "Beneath the Valley of the Ultravixens" (1979): Russ Meyer's final eye-popping melodrama. This ad may seem high-octane, but the hyperbole and heterosexism are as thickly applied throughout the entire movie, ensuring that the breast fetishist and underheralded craftsman went out with a suitably raunchy bang. It is a truly crazy film, extremely personal in that it reflects all of Meyer's red-blooded obsessions, and a lot of fun if you can put up with the legend's unashamedly Neanderthal attitudes - his buxom ladies are always his strongest characters.
3. "Screwballs" (1983): When I was a pre-teen boy, this Canadian-made cable classic (with a cameo by Russ Meyer vet Raven De La Croix) was my favorite of the low-rent teen sex comedies. As with all things '80s, these sorts of flicks are currently cultivating a nostalgic cult following. Now that it's unbelievably out on Blu-Ray, its perverted zeal should finally get its due.
4. "H.O.T.S." (1979): Never seen this one, but it's another jokey jigglefest from the days when T&A was a booming movie genre, set at a college (H.O.T.S. is a sorority) rather than a high school. One of its alternate titles is actually "T&A Academy." Look for a guest appearance by a desperate post-"Partridge Family" actor.
5. "Caligula: The Untold Story" (1982): Director Joe D'Amato and actress Laura Gemser made a crapload of sleazy Eurotrash softcore movies together, most famously the lurid "Black Emanuelle" series. This collab was obviously a knock-off of the Tinto Brass/Bob Guccione "Caligula" and features the director of my favorite movie of the '90s getting his tongue cut out. As with many flicks of its time and genre, XXX versions exist, with hardcore sex scenes clumsily inserted.
6. "SS Experiment Love Camp" (1976): I've seen even fewer Nazisploitation movies than I have "Black Emanuelle" entries... the first "Ilsa" was enough for me. Folks, these are the real "torture porns," unsavory (mostly) Italian jobs that center on fascist regalia, dull wartime drama and a lot of abused white girls. General consensus is that this flick, which includes a romantic subplot(!), is one of the less stomach-turning entries.
7. "The Black Gestapo" (1975): In the '70s drive-in milieu, even black militants could march in line behind the crooked cross to strike terror into the hearts of their enemies. This doozy (from the director of "Love Camp 7," the world's first Nazisploitation flick) stars Mac from "Night Court" as a jackbooted radical who beats the bad whiteys, only to become as bad as they were once absolute power corrupts him.
8. "The Inglorious Bastards" (1978): No, not the new one - Tarantino got the name for his recent triumph from a mislabeled copy of this obscure Italian movie at that famed video store where he once worked. Fred "The Hammer" Williamson, Bo Svenson and pals get embroiled in a plot to steal from the Nazis while avoiding their American countrymen, from whom they escaped on the way to military prison.
9. "1990: The Bronx Warriors" (1982): "Inglorious Bastards" director Enzo G. Castellari is better known for this post-apocalyptic knock-off of "The Warriors," where he once again gave Fred Williamson the chance to grit his teeth and mug like a B-movie champ. I reviewed it in an old post, but for those who don't remember that, suffice it to say that it was the last movie Vic Morrow finished before he was killed on the set of "Twilight Zone: The Movie," and the fey, headbanded hero is literally named Trash.
10. "Hands of Steel" (1986): On my most-wanted list of Italian '80s action flicks, this ranks up there with "Endgame" and "Blastfighter." Taking a few pages from "The Terminator," it's the sensitive tale of a cyborg assassin (played by Woody Harrelson's dad from the beginning of "Kingpin") who arm wrestles his way into the heart of a bar owner while wasting corporate villains in the future. "Bronx Warriors" bad guy George Eastman, the Italotrash hero born Luigi Montefiori, plays a menacing truck driver.
11. "Turkey Shoot" (1982): The future didn't only look bleak in Italy; after all, Australia gave us "Mad Max," as well as this gory dystopian hybrid of prison trashfest and "The Most Dangerous Game." It was released in America as "Escape 2000," which was coincidentally the same title given to Castellari's "Bronx Warriors" sequel. The director was also responsible for the ridiculous-looking cult item "Stunt Rock" and went on to such ignoble efforts as "Leprechaun 4: In Space" and "Megiddo: The Omega Code 2."
12. "Trancers" (1985): A relic from the days when Charles Band still made enjoyable schlock and Helen Hunt wasn't yet known as Paul Reiser's TV bedmate. Stonefaced Tim Thomerson is great here as a hard-boiled future cop searching for a zombiemaster terrorist who is sent back through time to possess his lookalike ancestor in then-present-day Los Angeles. There are five direct-to-video sequels to date; Thomerson was in four of them, while Hunt was in two.
13. "Gymkata" (1986): So, you like flicks about covert martial arts tournaments a la the epochal "Enter the Dragon," but you're also stuck in post-1984 Summer Olympics gymnastics thrall? This celebrated flop, from the director of "Dragon" and starring real-life gymnast Kurt Thomas, was made for you, although the formula sadly did not catch on. Before today, I never realized it was an MGM production. I totally would have guessed Cannon.
14. "The Octagon" (1980): Home gym spokesman Chuck Norris was far more successful as a whitebread martial arts star than Kurt Thomas was. Here's an ad from his youthful heyday, one of his most ludicrous chop-socky epics in which he takes on a consortium of ninjas led by Lee Van Cleef while talking to himself in incessant voice-overs. It's believed to be the first of the American-made ninja flicks, although "Enter the Ninja" made a bigger splash on that front.
15. "Revenge of the Ninja" (1983): Cannon's follow-up to "Enter the Ninja," and the predecessor to the absolutely insane "Ninja III: The Domination." Genre icon Shô Kosugi plays a ninja trying to escape his tragically blood-soaked past by moving to California and selling dolls, but has to contend with a ruthless, heroin-smuggling ninja business partner. I can't wait for Kosugi's long-awaited return to the screen in a couple of months, battling Colbert nemesis Rain as the villain in the mainstream action bonanza "Ninja Assassin."
16. "Vigilante" (1983): It seems that I just can't get away from the great Fred Williamson. Here, he joins Robert Forster and some other dudes to take back the streets from the criminal scum in a gruesome, grimy slice of reactionary '80s action cinema. I wrote about it briefly in a real old post.
17. "Rolling Thunder" (1977): Cinema informs us that ex-POW Vietnam vets are ticking time bombs. Why would you steal from one, grind off his hand in a garbage disposal and kill his family, but not make sure he's dead? He's just gonna put on a sharp hook, grab Tommy Lee Jones and hunt your ass down, as does overlooked character actor William Devane in this neglected thriller from the writer of such downbeat classics as "Taxi Driver" and "Hardcore." Great voiceover work on this ad by the unmistakable Percy Rodriguez.
18. "The Crazies" (1973): George A. Romero's most underrated movie is this awesome portrait of human downfall, similar to his almighty "Dead" series in that it involves the spread of a plague and the authorities' attempts to deal with it. Instead of becoming zombies, though, people turn crazy and turn on each other. Michael Eisner's kid has remade it as an action flick... even with Timothy Olyphant as the lead, I have my doubts.
19. "Blue Sunshine" (1976): Another anxious antique from those paranoid '70s, this one involving former hippies whose previous ingestion of the titular LSD batch causes them to lose their hair and embark on murderous rampages. Cult director Jeff Lieberman brings back the transgressions of the '60s to haunt politician Mark Goddard (Major Don West from "Lost in Space"). The guy who directed "9½ Weeks" is the main star.
20. "God Told Me To" (1976): One last bit of disco-era mass hysteria before we go. Larry Cohen's people-going-bonkers picture revolves around a cop investigating random murders committed by average folks who utter the film's title whenever asked for a motive. The answer to the mystery is pretty nutty, to say the least. It stars Tony Lo Bianco from "The Honeymoon Killers," and Andy Kaufman shows up as a cop who turns the NYC St. Patrick's Day parade into target practice. The trailer's voiceover talent is Ernie Anderson, the voice of ABC in my youth.
posted by SoulReaper at 7:58 PM
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•First of all, to all Chicago-area summer lovers: I honestly feel bad that you have experienced an unusually temperate season. I understand that "70s and overcast" doesn't make for great pool parties. Still, not having been a big fan of bright, muggy summer weather since I was about 13 or so, I have no complaints myself, and I think it's weird to hear people complain about pleasant temperatures and moderate electricity bills. The economy still blows and everybody's stressed out, but at least we can open the windows without boiling or freezing.
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Last weekend was a two-fer. M'lady and I took in Ang Lee's "
