The ripoff report
Hey, gang. The longest lapse in Entartete Kunst history might best be explained by the rigors of my current temporary job. After a long stint of jobless malaise, it's been a kinda fascinating, if essentially grim, experience. I can apparently hold my own in this setting, which means a modest income for the time being. I've just been trying to keep my mind on all the birthdays and weddings and other happy shit punctuating the gray day-to-day right now.
However, I intend to make the best out of this summer. I'm at least making it to Pitchfork on Saturday, and I really intend to hit a drive-in theater at some point, if for no other reason than because my girlfriend has never been to one. It's been about three years myself, and I am completely ashamed.
To get myself in the mood, I'm taking a look at a few great trailers for some international low-budget movies I'd love to see someday, none of which should be accused of innovation but which look like they might make up for it in sheer shamelessness. Y'know, like a good drive-in movie should.
"Ninja Terminator"
I've told you before about the astounding collaborations of Hong Kong producer Godfrey Ho and actor Richard Harrison, a mustachioed American who made a few ninja-themed films for Ho in the early '80s and later came to regret it. Like many greats of the American exploitation era, Ho often shot and spliced scenes into old footage he bought in order to create an entirely "new" film. Using this method, Ho made dozens of colorfully-titled ninja movies, in many of which Harrison's footage appeared, presumably to add some sort of name value, or at least international salability, to the ludicrous pastiches. If you're ever lucky enough to catch one, expect hysterical dubbing, a cheesy crime story, unappealing sex scenes featuring Asian people with afros and incongruous, seemingly random insertion of Ho's new footage. These undeniably magical action sequences observe the struggles of men in brightly colored "ninja" suits (sometimes with "ninja" helpfully written on their headbands), who always seem to come upon each other near a deserted park, viaduct, gazebo or hillside. Harrison is usually one of them... he'll be farting around in a robe in some sparsely furnished apartment, meditating or practicing his sword moves, when the urge will overtake him to wiggle his fingers and teleport himself to the battleground, changing into his costume and applying thick eyeliner along the way. I have not seen this installment, which centers around a mystical statue that bestows invincibility, but from the trailer, it looks awesome.
"Rampage"
The Turks are especially notorious when it comes to regional appropriation of American pop culture. In addition to the beloved "Turkish 'Star Wars,'" Turkey has its own versions of "The Wizard of Oz," "Star Trek," "Death Wish," "The Exorcist," "Jaws," "E.T." and "Superman." There's the infamous "3 Mighty Men," wherein Captain America and famed enmáscarado El Santo team up to fight an maniacal Spider-Man. Then there's this doozy, aka "Korkusuz," aka the "Turkish 'Rambo.'" They call their headband-sporting killing machine "Serdar." From what I've seen online, Serdar can knock down walls and has an unlimited supply of ammo for his dollar store rocket launcher. I don't imagine "Rampage" is as rip-roaringly gory as last year's ridiculous "Rambo" was, but it looks like a lot of fun in a "Son of Rambow" sort of way. Amazingly, some enterprising souls recently put out an official DVD of it, complete with nostalgic package art made to look like a beat-up '80s videotape. Unfortunately, since a lot of the film's original music was, um, "borrowed," the DVD distributors had to create an entirely new soundtrack, meaning there's new music and it's dubbed. A lot of Turkish exploitation films have been lost due to neglect, so if altering their soundtracks is the only way some can be preserved (meaning: sold again, thus funding the restoration of such disreputable cult items), so be it. This is the trailer they made for it.
"Alyas Batman en Robin"
Continuing the theme, here's the Philippines' version of the 1960s' "Batman" TV show, presented as a feel-good spoof. Director Tony Reyes has also served up Pinoy takes on such Western heroes as Tarzan, RoboCop, He-Man, The Lone Ranger, the "Miami Vice" and "Lethal Weapon" duos and Tango & Cash(?!?), but the first one I ever heard about was this zany-looking lawsuit bait from 1993 featuring popular comedian Joey de Leon. Apparently, in this film, Batman and Robin are actually brothers (played by Joey and his son, Keempee) who strap on the superhero costumes in order to stop a crime spree by a mustachioed Joker, a relatively svelte Penguin and a Catwoman who's adopted a red-and-blue color scheme. Of course, they employ the help of some musical numbers and a few onomatopoeic fight scene intertitles that appear to be lifted straight from the iconic Adam West series. The finale reportedly features appearances by Wonder Woman and a midget Spider-Man. I must say, Heath Ledger was real good, but this dude looks like the scariest Joker ever.
"Little Red Riding Hood and the Monsters"
Here's more ostensibly family-friendly business, the sort of terrifying children's movie the world will probably never see again. Bloomington, IL native and exploitation producer K. Gordon Murray imported a lot of weird Mexican shit, mostly horror flicks and kiddie pics, the most celebrated being MST3K favorites "The Robot vs. the Aztec Mummy" and "Santa Claus." (He also brought Americans "The Brainiac," about which you remember me writing a few months ago.) This is one of many fairy tale-inspired pictures that Murray stuffed onto weekend-only double features, bizarre but energetically dubbed productions that resemble a rural park district's unauthorized stage production of "H.R. Pufnstuf." Its washed-out color, cheap but bright set design and ratty-looking costumes make it look like prime acid era kidsploitation (as well as John Waters' "Desperate Living"). The plot, which imaginatively confounds the storybook lore of Little Red Riding Hood and Tom Thumb with witches, Frankensteins, dragons, cavemen and robots, makes it sound like a nightmare-giving classic. I can't wait to see the forthcoming documentary on Murray, which might make a good double feature with "Not Quite Hollywood."
"Terror"
Although he only made a handful of flicks, Norman J. Warren was one of very few exploitation-era British sleazemasters of any repute. He's probably best known for "Inseminoid," one of several gory "Alien" knock-offs in which a woman is graphically impregnated by a slimy creature from beyond the stars. I saw that one under its old American video title, "Horror Planet," but don't really remember anything about it... as far as that sort of stuff goes, I prefer "Galaxy of Terror," simply because it embarasses production designer/second unit director James Cameron, has a great cast and you get to see Joanie Cunningham's head explode. Now, despite its generic title and relative obscurity, Warren's "Terror" has been reassessed in recent years as a long-buried gem of low-budget "Suspiria" worship. As you probably know, that's my favorite horror movie, and although many people have claimed it has inspired their work, I've never seen anything that approximates its balance of style, grace, savagery and mythical nonsense. Argento himself came close with "Inferno," but the unintentionally ridiculous "La Terza Madre" proved ol' Dario has completely lost his impulse to let images and sound lead the viewer like the primal pull of a nightmare. From what I've read, it appears that Mr. Warren understood why "Suspiria" is a great film, so I am itching to watch his own amalgamation of arcane witchcraft, startling murders and psychedelic light gels.
However, I intend to make the best out of this summer. I'm at least making it to Pitchfork on Saturday, and I really intend to hit a drive-in theater at some point, if for no other reason than because my girlfriend has never been to one. It's been about three years myself, and I am completely ashamed.
To get myself in the mood, I'm taking a look at a few great trailers for some international low-budget movies I'd love to see someday, none of which should be accused of innovation but which look like they might make up for it in sheer shamelessness. Y'know, like a good drive-in movie should.
"Ninja Terminator"
I've told you before about the astounding collaborations of Hong Kong producer Godfrey Ho and actor Richard Harrison, a mustachioed American who made a few ninja-themed films for Ho in the early '80s and later came to regret it. Like many greats of the American exploitation era, Ho often shot and spliced scenes into old footage he bought in order to create an entirely "new" film. Using this method, Ho made dozens of colorfully-titled ninja movies, in many of which Harrison's footage appeared, presumably to add some sort of name value, or at least international salability, to the ludicrous pastiches. If you're ever lucky enough to catch one, expect hysterical dubbing, a cheesy crime story, unappealing sex scenes featuring Asian people with afros and incongruous, seemingly random insertion of Ho's new footage. These undeniably magical action sequences observe the struggles of men in brightly colored "ninja" suits (sometimes with "ninja" helpfully written on their headbands), who always seem to come upon each other near a deserted park, viaduct, gazebo or hillside. Harrison is usually one of them... he'll be farting around in a robe in some sparsely furnished apartment, meditating or practicing his sword moves, when the urge will overtake him to wiggle his fingers and teleport himself to the battleground, changing into his costume and applying thick eyeliner along the way. I have not seen this installment, which centers around a mystical statue that bestows invincibility, but from the trailer, it looks awesome.
"Rampage"
The Turks are especially notorious when it comes to regional appropriation of American pop culture. In addition to the beloved "Turkish 'Star Wars,'" Turkey has its own versions of "The Wizard of Oz," "Star Trek," "Death Wish," "The Exorcist," "Jaws," "E.T." and "Superman." There's the infamous "3 Mighty Men," wherein Captain America and famed enmáscarado El Santo team up to fight an maniacal Spider-Man. Then there's this doozy, aka "Korkusuz," aka the "Turkish 'Rambo.'" They call their headband-sporting killing machine "Serdar." From what I've seen online, Serdar can knock down walls and has an unlimited supply of ammo for his dollar store rocket launcher. I don't imagine "Rampage" is as rip-roaringly gory as last year's ridiculous "Rambo" was, but it looks like a lot of fun in a "Son of Rambow" sort of way. Amazingly, some enterprising souls recently put out an official DVD of it, complete with nostalgic package art made to look like a beat-up '80s videotape. Unfortunately, since a lot of the film's original music was, um, "borrowed," the DVD distributors had to create an entirely new soundtrack, meaning there's new music and it's dubbed. A lot of Turkish exploitation films have been lost due to neglect, so if altering their soundtracks is the only way some can be preserved (meaning: sold again, thus funding the restoration of such disreputable cult items), so be it. This is the trailer they made for it.
"Alyas Batman en Robin"
Continuing the theme, here's the Philippines' version of the 1960s' "Batman" TV show, presented as a feel-good spoof. Director Tony Reyes has also served up Pinoy takes on such Western heroes as Tarzan, RoboCop, He-Man, The Lone Ranger, the "Miami Vice" and "Lethal Weapon" duos and Tango & Cash(?!?), but the first one I ever heard about was this zany-looking lawsuit bait from 1993 featuring popular comedian Joey de Leon. Apparently, in this film, Batman and Robin are actually brothers (played by Joey and his son, Keempee) who strap on the superhero costumes in order to stop a crime spree by a mustachioed Joker, a relatively svelte Penguin and a Catwoman who's adopted a red-and-blue color scheme. Of course, they employ the help of some musical numbers and a few onomatopoeic fight scene intertitles that appear to be lifted straight from the iconic Adam West series. The finale reportedly features appearances by Wonder Woman and a midget Spider-Man. I must say, Heath Ledger was real good, but this dude looks like the scariest Joker ever.
"Little Red Riding Hood and the Monsters"
Here's more ostensibly family-friendly business, the sort of terrifying children's movie the world will probably never see again. Bloomington, IL native and exploitation producer K. Gordon Murray imported a lot of weird Mexican shit, mostly horror flicks and kiddie pics, the most celebrated being MST3K favorites "The Robot vs. the Aztec Mummy" and "Santa Claus." (He also brought Americans "The Brainiac," about which you remember me writing a few months ago.) This is one of many fairy tale-inspired pictures that Murray stuffed onto weekend-only double features, bizarre but energetically dubbed productions that resemble a rural park district's unauthorized stage production of "H.R. Pufnstuf." Its washed-out color, cheap but bright set design and ratty-looking costumes make it look like prime acid era kidsploitation (as well as John Waters' "Desperate Living"). The plot, which imaginatively confounds the storybook lore of Little Red Riding Hood and Tom Thumb with witches, Frankensteins, dragons, cavemen and robots, makes it sound like a nightmare-giving classic. I can't wait to see the forthcoming documentary on Murray, which might make a good double feature with "Not Quite Hollywood."
"Terror"
Although he only made a handful of flicks, Norman J. Warren was one of very few exploitation-era British sleazemasters of any repute. He's probably best known for "Inseminoid," one of several gory "Alien" knock-offs in which a woman is graphically impregnated by a slimy creature from beyond the stars. I saw that one under its old American video title, "Horror Planet," but don't really remember anything about it... as far as that sort of stuff goes, I prefer "Galaxy of Terror," simply because it embarasses production designer/second unit director James Cameron, has a great cast and you get to see Joanie Cunningham's head explode. Now, despite its generic title and relative obscurity, Warren's "Terror" has been reassessed in recent years as a long-buried gem of low-budget "Suspiria" worship. As you probably know, that's my favorite horror movie, and although many people have claimed it has inspired their work, I've never seen anything that approximates its balance of style, grace, savagery and mythical nonsense. Argento himself came close with "Inferno," but the unintentionally ridiculous "La Terza Madre" proved ol' Dario has completely lost his impulse to let images and sound lead the viewer like the primal pull of a nightmare. From what I've read, it appears that Mr. Warren understood why "Suspiria" is a great film, so I am itching to watch his own amalgamation of arcane witchcraft, startling murders and psychedelic light gels.
posted by SoulReaper at 4:51 PM
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