The Great Cold Distance
Ah, cripes, this winter already blows. Time for a solitary road trip. I can't wait to leave this area behind for a while.
For the past several years, I've really only traveled for concerts or to hang out with fabulous women, excepting a flight to Seattle for my cousin's graduation. Sadly, the trip I'm preparing for has nothing to do with any woman, rather a bunch of hirsute Europeans roaring and banging while wearing tunics and chain mail and shit. Yes, I'm tootling six hours up to Columbia Heights, Minnesota this weekend for the Heathen Crusade, headlined by three of the world's finest pagan metal bands, all performing for their first time in the States. In perhaps the dorkiest move ever, I have decided to pass the week listening to all of those bands' releases in sequential order, starting with the demos, since I have them all. I started Monday with Moonsorrow's "Tämä Ikuinen Talvi", Primordial's "Dark Romanticism" (the reissue) and "Imrama" and Thyrfing's "Hednaland". Expect a thorough breakdown of the show upon my return. In case anybody wants to meet me there, I'm booked at the Motel 6 in Roseville, wherever the hell that is. Wear your jerkin. I sure hope no Nazis show up.
I saw another Richard Harrison/Godfrey Ho picture tonight, the ninja-free "Scorpion Thunderbolt", which was pretty disappointing despite the presence of a hilarious snake man. But you know what ruled? "Hostel". If I may paraphrase the great Tom Robbins (because I don't own "Villa Incognito" and am too lazy to look for the quote online), it's often only when you have absolutely no hope left that hope finally seems to rear its head. After the recent cavalcade of half-assed "brutal" horror pictures shamelessly claiming to be all 70's-style, here's one that gets it. Not skimping on the gore is a definite plus, but although it's a surprisingly hard R, it's also much smarter than its contemporaries in making use of the classic "Bad Place" scenario while tweaking the conventions to which all the others have shamelessly clinged. Eli Roth wrote and directed "Hostel"; he also made "Cabin Fever," which was not a great picture but was certainly weird, gross and memorable. As The Wizard of Gore reminded me, Roth's also responsible for the hysterical "expert" commentary on Troma's "Bloodsucking Freaks" DVD, and for that, the dude is aces in my book.
Like in "Fever," the protagonists here are revolting human beings, and you want to see them impaled as slowly as possible - he's good with getting an audience involved. There's a lot to dig into here, on more than just the commendable visceral level, and it keeps you thinking a bit when it's done. For instance, the suggestion of Slovakia as today's version of the deep South in "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre." By depicting the former Eastern Bloc country as a nightmare fantasia of debauched gratification and lawless depravity which makes Elmhurst, IL look like Branson, MO, is Roth demonizing an already troubled region by inflaming xenophobia, or is he tapping into American audiences' prejudices and fears as outsiders for ulterior motives? Is making me ask that question the true motive? My geography's as lousy as the idiots' in this movie; am I as ugly an American? I need to see it again, and if Roth puts more gore on the DVD, he'll be my new hero. It's made decent scratch at the box office so far, and even Entertainment Weekly grudgingly admired its prescient scare tactics, as Glieberman and crew all the while continue to look down their greasy, populist-fascist noses when confronted with solid genre entertainment. I hope it causes a sensation with the kids and makes a kazillion bones... although the inevitable knock-offs starring WB rejects would be hard to take. Seriously, for my taste, this movie's way, way better than "Blair Witch." A fine start to cinema in 'o6.
What else is pleasant? This stupid MySpace haircut awards is funny, although I have to admit I find NoWhere Girl's 'do fairly attractive. Then there's those block rockin' beats from Big Hit Buda and his almost-novelty-hit "We Da Bears". If only the Panthers hadn't won on Sunday, this joint would have been lighting up all the local morning DJ shows, I'm sure. I particularly like how he assumes you know he misspells "buddha" when he shouts out the Web site at the end. Finally: a taste of the impending Katatonia album (due in March, naturally). The single due next month's called "My Twin," and they've had half of that on their MySpace and home pages for a while. But some enterprising types - actually, they're Russians, the undisputed kings of debauched metal mp3 gratification - put up a whole song entitled "July" on this page. Of course I love it, even the promo voice-over. I'm gonna burn a copy just to have this version. And if there were any doubt that this band has a direct conduit into what's going on in my life whenever they release a record, this one's called "The Great Cold Distance".
For the past several years, I've really only traveled for concerts or to hang out with fabulous women, excepting a flight to Seattle for my cousin's graduation. Sadly, the trip I'm preparing for has nothing to do with any woman, rather a bunch of hirsute Europeans roaring and banging while wearing tunics and chain mail and shit. Yes, I'm tootling six hours up to Columbia Heights, Minnesota this weekend for the Heathen Crusade, headlined by three of the world's finest pagan metal bands, all performing for their first time in the States. In perhaps the dorkiest move ever, I have decided to pass the week listening to all of those bands' releases in sequential order, starting with the demos, since I have them all. I started Monday with Moonsorrow's "Tämä Ikuinen Talvi", Primordial's "Dark Romanticism" (the reissue) and "Imrama" and Thyrfing's "Hednaland". Expect a thorough breakdown of the show upon my return. In case anybody wants to meet me there, I'm booked at the Motel 6 in Roseville, wherever the hell that is. Wear your jerkin. I sure hope no Nazis show up.
I saw another Richard Harrison/Godfrey Ho picture tonight, the ninja-free "Scorpion Thunderbolt", which was pretty disappointing despite the presence of a hilarious snake man. But you know what ruled? "Hostel". If I may paraphrase the great Tom Robbins (because I don't own "Villa Incognito" and am too lazy to look for the quote online), it's often only when you have absolutely no hope left that hope finally seems to rear its head. After the recent cavalcade of half-assed "brutal" horror pictures shamelessly claiming to be all 70's-style, here's one that gets it. Not skimping on the gore is a definite plus, but although it's a surprisingly hard R, it's also much smarter than its contemporaries in making use of the classic "Bad Place" scenario while tweaking the conventions to which all the others have shamelessly clinged. Eli Roth wrote and directed "Hostel"; he also made "Cabin Fever," which was not a great picture but was certainly weird, gross and memorable. As The Wizard of Gore reminded me, Roth's also responsible for the hysterical "expert" commentary on Troma's "Bloodsucking Freaks" DVD, and for that, the dude is aces in my book.
Like in "Fever," the protagonists here are revolting human beings, and you want to see them impaled as slowly as possible - he's good with getting an audience involved. There's a lot to dig into here, on more than just the commendable visceral level, and it keeps you thinking a bit when it's done. For instance, the suggestion of Slovakia as today's version of the deep South in "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre." By depicting the former Eastern Bloc country as a nightmare fantasia of debauched gratification and lawless depravity which makes Elmhurst, IL look like Branson, MO, is Roth demonizing an already troubled region by inflaming xenophobia, or is he tapping into American audiences' prejudices and fears as outsiders for ulterior motives? Is making me ask that question the true motive? My geography's as lousy as the idiots' in this movie; am I as ugly an American? I need to see it again, and if Roth puts more gore on the DVD, he'll be my new hero. It's made decent scratch at the box office so far, and even Entertainment Weekly grudgingly admired its prescient scare tactics, as Glieberman and crew all the while continue to look down their greasy, populist-fascist noses when confronted with solid genre entertainment. I hope it causes a sensation with the kids and makes a kazillion bones... although the inevitable knock-offs starring WB rejects would be hard to take. Seriously, for my taste, this movie's way, way better than "Blair Witch." A fine start to cinema in 'o6.
What else is pleasant? This stupid MySpace haircut awards is funny, although I have to admit I find NoWhere Girl's 'do fairly attractive. Then there's those block rockin' beats from Big Hit Buda and his almost-novelty-hit "We Da Bears". If only the Panthers hadn't won on Sunday, this joint would have been lighting up all the local morning DJ shows, I'm sure. I particularly like how he assumes you know he misspells "buddha" when he shouts out the Web site at the end. Finally: a taste of the impending Katatonia album (due in March, naturally). The single due next month's called "My Twin," and they've had half of that on their MySpace and home pages for a while. But some enterprising types - actually, they're Russians, the undisputed kings of debauched metal mp3 gratification - put up a whole song entitled "July" on this page. Of course I love it, even the promo voice-over. I'm gonna burn a copy just to have this version. And if there were any doubt that this band has a direct conduit into what's going on in my life whenever they release a record, this one's called "The Great Cold Distance".
posted by SoulReaper at 1:08 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home