Going necrophiliac in '06
Well, I spoke too soon... just like last Xmas, I spent this one cranky and depressed. As usual, not my family's fault, though I imagine they think it was. At least my cousin Rick's three children were there for a while, they always liven things up. Those kids are cute as hell, but for some reason this season they repeatedly wanted to run up and smack me on the ass. They're at that age where if you tell them not to do something but don't threaten to slap the shit out of them, they just giggle and keep at it. Like I said, those kids are darling, but I need to look into getting my tubes tied in case I ever have sex again. Other people's kids are cool, but I just don't have the temperament to deal with that on a daily basis.
I found time to enjoy three cuddly family films during this holiday weekend, which were:
"Ghost Ninja" (aka "Diamond Ninja Force") - Saints be praised, another Godfrey Ho/Richard Harrison job! You may remember me raving about their fine work on "Ninja: The Protector" in an earlier post. Mustachioed geezer Harrison is equally baffling here in half a movie where he goes around attacking various dudes while they're walking in the woods, practicing tai chi or otherwise loafing about alone like one of Skeletor's henchmen. He still "turns into" a ninja, meaning he makes some gesture, there'll be a puff of smoke and he'll suddenly be clad in bright pajamas and eyeliner. Not a very stealthy ninja, but, hey. That alone would be entertaining, yet the other half of "Ghost Ninja" is spliced in from one of those early '80s Hong Kong supernatural pictures with crazy light gel overload and bugs spewing out of people's mouths every ten minutes. This other movie is about a hot ghost and her stupid helpers menacing a family of idiots. I mean, the mom's named Fanny and the kid's named Bobo. That should adequately describe their character. The hot ghost gets naked, cackles a lot and makes the family have gruesome hallucinations: the dad turns on a faucet and maggots come pouring out (awesome!), what appears to be a bloody frog leaps out of the freezer at Fanny. Somehow, Harrison helps them by sitting in a faraway candlelit room and posing with his sword. I think. It's no "Memoirs of a Geisha" or anything, but for pure insane entertainment's sake, this is a truly great film.
"Wolf Creek" - I haven't been to the movies in about two months (I don't count the "Harry Potter" press screening), so what do I pick for my Xmas Day viewing? It could have been "King Kong," which is the movie I really want to see right now, or "Syriana" or "Narnia," but I went to see this Australian horror flick because it was touted as being extremely brutal and it opened on Jesus' birthday. Well, I should have seen "Kong," because it was bullshit. "Wolf Creek" is made with edgy technical finesse similar to "High Tension," and like that French fiasco it also has a cop-out ending. I think this movie was stripped of its supposed gore, or maybe there wasn't any, in which case the eventual "director's cut" DVD won't even have a payoff. The death count is exactly three, two of them by gunshot, one of which is not shown at all. OK, so maybe it's not a slasher movie, it's a "psychological thriller" (read: "we toned down the red stuff so we could get better theatrical distribution"). Still, it's about fifty minutes in before the crazy outback killer even appears. I kept waiting for something truly awful to happen, but although there's some torturing and menacing and whatnot, I guess I'm pretty jaded from having seen all the movies this one rips off. The current trend of '70s-style "gritty" redneck terror pictures continues to disappoint me. Honestly, it's not that brilliant, but the best one of these so far is actually Rob Zombie's "The Devil's Rejects". "Wolf Creek" probably ranks somewhere below that tepid "Texas Chainsaw" remake (at least that was somewhat unpleasant), but well above "Wrong Turn", and is probably better than the remake of "The Hills Have Eyes" will be. Hack jobs all around, really. The only one that seems like it bothers to push the envelope is "Chaos", which looks too rape-centric for me to want to see it. Why can't someone can the misogyny and just make one of these movies a total gorefest? I hold out hope for Eli Roth's "Hostel", but as in my miserable love life, hope is a liability.
"Primatives" (aka "Primitif") - It's rare to have a "cannibal" picture where no one gets eaten, and even rarer when absolutely no Italians had anything to do with it. This is the B-side of "Ghost Ninja" on volume 2 of VideoAsia's "Tales of Voodoo" series of glorified bootlegs, the release of which has sparked some controversy amongst hardcore Indonesian horror buffs. Anyway, that link for the title up there goes over the film's highlights with a fine-toothed comb, but I do need to underline how messed up some of this is. First is the amount of revolting licking: near the beginning, a jungle doctor treats a patient by licking the gross infected wound on her inner thigh, which seems to please neither actor, and later a woman gives birth to a baby and licks the birth muck off, inviting several children to help. Those kids lap it up, smiling like the tot's slathered in hot fudge. Then there's a guy who throws an axe at the hero, who ducks as the weapon boomerangs back and chops the thrower in the neck - the faces the bad guy makes are priceless. It warmed my heart when one of the cannibal guys started rubbing his (clothed) nuts on the female captive, only to be dragged off by his pals and get his bathing suit area pulverized by a huge rock. I'm not sure why Asian exploitation film soundtrack producers from the late '70s/early '80s loved stealing trippy European keyboard music - Pink Floyd's a favorite in kung fu pics - but this thing uses Kraftwerk's "We Are the Robots," Jean-Michel Jarre's "Oxygene Part 1" and probably some other things I don't recognize. Otherwise, it's typical cannibal fare: real animal battles and mutilation, casual racism/classism/societism, unappealing nudity, the works.
On an ultimately bright note, 2005 is almost gone. And I thought I was glad to say goodbye to '04... whoo. This year took the fucking cake, and seems to be ending exactly like the last one. I've been working on my annual end-of-year missive, which for those familiar will be late as usual and will look a bit different to reflect the general theme of upheaval. If I send it your way, you'll know it when you see it. You will be sure to find The Mars Volta on it, I can tell you that. (If you take that link, you can click "Scabdates stream" to hear their brand new "experimental" live album. Make sure you're not sober first.) "Frances the Mute" gets my #1 album spot, followed by Opeth's "Ghost Reveries", Eels' "Blinking Lights and Other Revelations", Primordial's "The Gathering Wilderness" and Slough Feg's "Atavism". Those are the only LPs I'll rank this year.
Reviews of The Tossers and Jason Forrest (both perform NYE shows in Chicago) are here... see you jokers in '06.
I found time to enjoy three cuddly family films during this holiday weekend, which were:
"Ghost Ninja" (aka "Diamond Ninja Force") - Saints be praised, another Godfrey Ho/Richard Harrison job! You may remember me raving about their fine work on "Ninja: The Protector" in an earlier post. Mustachioed geezer Harrison is equally baffling here in half a movie where he goes around attacking various dudes while they're walking in the woods, practicing tai chi or otherwise loafing about alone like one of Skeletor's henchmen. He still "turns into" a ninja, meaning he makes some gesture, there'll be a puff of smoke and he'll suddenly be clad in bright pajamas and eyeliner. Not a very stealthy ninja, but, hey. That alone would be entertaining, yet the other half of "Ghost Ninja" is spliced in from one of those early '80s Hong Kong supernatural pictures with crazy light gel overload and bugs spewing out of people's mouths every ten minutes. This other movie is about a hot ghost and her stupid helpers menacing a family of idiots. I mean, the mom's named Fanny and the kid's named Bobo. That should adequately describe their character. The hot ghost gets naked, cackles a lot and makes the family have gruesome hallucinations: the dad turns on a faucet and maggots come pouring out (awesome!), what appears to be a bloody frog leaps out of the freezer at Fanny. Somehow, Harrison helps them by sitting in a faraway candlelit room and posing with his sword. I think. It's no "Memoirs of a Geisha" or anything, but for pure insane entertainment's sake, this is a truly great film.
"Wolf Creek" - I haven't been to the movies in about two months (I don't count the "Harry Potter" press screening), so what do I pick for my Xmas Day viewing? It could have been "King Kong," which is the movie I really want to see right now, or "Syriana" or "Narnia," but I went to see this Australian horror flick because it was touted as being extremely brutal and it opened on Jesus' birthday. Well, I should have seen "Kong," because it was bullshit. "Wolf Creek" is made with edgy technical finesse similar to "High Tension," and like that French fiasco it also has a cop-out ending. I think this movie was stripped of its supposed gore, or maybe there wasn't any, in which case the eventual "director's cut" DVD won't even have a payoff. The death count is exactly three, two of them by gunshot, one of which is not shown at all. OK, so maybe it's not a slasher movie, it's a "psychological thriller" (read: "we toned down the red stuff so we could get better theatrical distribution"). Still, it's about fifty minutes in before the crazy outback killer even appears. I kept waiting for something truly awful to happen, but although there's some torturing and menacing and whatnot, I guess I'm pretty jaded from having seen all the movies this one rips off. The current trend of '70s-style "gritty" redneck terror pictures continues to disappoint me. Honestly, it's not that brilliant, but the best one of these so far is actually Rob Zombie's "The Devil's Rejects". "Wolf Creek" probably ranks somewhere below that tepid "Texas Chainsaw" remake (at least that was somewhat unpleasant), but well above "Wrong Turn", and is probably better than the remake of "The Hills Have Eyes" will be. Hack jobs all around, really. The only one that seems like it bothers to push the envelope is "Chaos", which looks too rape-centric for me to want to see it. Why can't someone can the misogyny and just make one of these movies a total gorefest? I hold out hope for Eli Roth's "Hostel", but as in my miserable love life, hope is a liability.
"Primatives" (aka "Primitif") - It's rare to have a "cannibal" picture where no one gets eaten, and even rarer when absolutely no Italians had anything to do with it. This is the B-side of "Ghost Ninja" on volume 2 of VideoAsia's "Tales of Voodoo" series of glorified bootlegs, the release of which has sparked some controversy amongst hardcore Indonesian horror buffs. Anyway, that link for the title up there goes over the film's highlights with a fine-toothed comb, but I do need to underline how messed up some of this is. First is the amount of revolting licking: near the beginning, a jungle doctor treats a patient by licking the gross infected wound on her inner thigh, which seems to please neither actor, and later a woman gives birth to a baby and licks the birth muck off, inviting several children to help. Those kids lap it up, smiling like the tot's slathered in hot fudge. Then there's a guy who throws an axe at the hero, who ducks as the weapon boomerangs back and chops the thrower in the neck - the faces the bad guy makes are priceless. It warmed my heart when one of the cannibal guys started rubbing his (clothed) nuts on the female captive, only to be dragged off by his pals and get his bathing suit area pulverized by a huge rock. I'm not sure why Asian exploitation film soundtrack producers from the late '70s/early '80s loved stealing trippy European keyboard music - Pink Floyd's a favorite in kung fu pics - but this thing uses Kraftwerk's "We Are the Robots," Jean-Michel Jarre's "Oxygene Part 1" and probably some other things I don't recognize. Otherwise, it's typical cannibal fare: real animal battles and mutilation, casual racism/classism/societism, unappealing nudity, the works.
On an ultimately bright note, 2005 is almost gone. And I thought I was glad to say goodbye to '04... whoo. This year took the fucking cake, and seems to be ending exactly like the last one. I've been working on my annual end-of-year missive, which for those familiar will be late as usual and will look a bit different to reflect the general theme of upheaval. If I send it your way, you'll know it when you see it. You will be sure to find The Mars Volta on it, I can tell you that. (If you take that link, you can click "Scabdates stream" to hear their brand new "experimental" live album. Make sure you're not sober first.) "Frances the Mute" gets my #1 album spot, followed by Opeth's "Ghost Reveries", Eels' "Blinking Lights and Other Revelations", Primordial's "The Gathering Wilderness" and Slough Feg's "Atavism". Those are the only LPs I'll rank this year.
Reviews of The Tossers and Jason Forrest (both perform NYE shows in Chicago) are here... see you jokers in '06.
posted by SoulReaper at 2:12 PM
1 Comments:
The Tossers, "The Valley of the Shadow of Death" (Victory) ***½
This is album number five from the South Side's Celtic folk punk rowdies. Other than the boost of visibility they’ll get by moving from indie label Thick to screamo/metalcore powerhouse Victory, not much has changed in The Tossers' camp, as "Valley" is another round of winsome Irish sing-alongs and traditional instruments played with emotion and working class grit.
There's of course a bit of The Pogues in their Bushmills-soaked delivery, but although it may just be due to modern recording advances, The Tossers come of as much more visceral than Shane MacGowan and crew. Look no further than raucous opener "Goodmornin' Da" or "I've Pursued Nothing," which manages to find a dark side amidst a banjo/fiddle/tin whistle rave-up.
But this is no burly Dropkick Murphys or Flogging Molly beatdown. The Tossers are plenty convincing as a straight-up Irish band, as heard on heartfelt ballads like "Late" and the double-meaning romance of "Drinking In the Day," where bandleader Tony Duggins pays tribute to singer Ronnie Drew. Perhaps the strongest tool in The Tossers' belt is their ability to build a simple Celtic melody from soft and lilting to a fiery climax as heard in "Preab San Ol" or infectious hard-luck tale "The Crock of Gold."
Only "Go Down Witch Down" and its funky verses seems off at first, but by the end you have to admire the song's twists within its framework, not to mention its scathing indictment of American oppression and witch hunts through the ages. Here, Duggins packs in more words than syllables, lending the tune a strident, didactic feel. But that smart, earnest approach didn’t curtail Dead Kennedys, and it certainly doesn't stop The Tossers.
Jason Forrest, "Shamelessly Exciting" (Sonig) ***
Jason Forrest's electronic cut-and-paste creations are as intricately plotted as your average IDM, just a whole lot more raucous. Forrest, who also records under the name Donna Summer, eschews ambient cool for busy, energetic collages of shifting beats and heaps of rock samples.
A number of these tracks follow themes reflected by their names, with guitar samples wailing for "Storming Blues Rock" or fluttering acoustically in sections of "New Wave Folk Austerity." "My 36 Favorite Punk Songs" is just that, a rampage of clips which will have classic punk fans playing "name that riff" as snippets of Ramones, Sex Pistols, Misfits and Clash tunes whiz by.
Elsewhere, Forrest's song-naming is more evocative than literal. "Dust Never Settles" hops from breakbeat mania to cocktail jazz, while the comparatively gossamer "Skyrocket Saturday" contains elements from breezy '70s soft rock hits like "Summer Breeze" and "Baker Street." Alt.country favorite Laura Cantrell shows up for the only vocal-lead song, a shimmering electro-pop tribute to late BBC DJ John Peel called "Nightclothes and Headphones."
Often loud and calamitous, Forrest's work might annoy ambient adherents and is far too musical to impress those seeking noise experiments. "Exciting" is nonetheless a rare electronic album that could easily be embraced by rock fans as well as glitch fanatics.
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