Honky, look out!
Time for another round of recent movie viewings. No Spanish art films, no Rachel McAdams vehicles... nothing but vintage genre trash this week. Hooray!
"The Black Six": As in, they're black, and there are six of them. Bikers, wouldn't ya know. And they're played by a bunch of off-season '70s NFL pros, including "Mean" Joe Greene and five dudes I might have heard of if I had any interest in sports. Vintage blaxploitation shenanigans go down when the brother of one of these guys gets killed by a racist cracker bike gang. just for dating a white girl. As far as these things go, it's not particularly outrageous or memorable. In fact the best part is also the worst part - the "we're driving around" scenes go on FOREVER, but it's only then that you can hear the funky theme song complete with its bad-ass horn line. The ending, which involves every Johnny Reb biker in the area showing up to throw flares at our heroes, is abrupt and ridiculous.
"Syngenor": This is one I remember my old buddy Funk Dracula talking about back in the day. It stars the great David Gale of "Re-Animator" fame in his final screen appearance, and he really hams it up as an evil industrialist whose company developed the titular supersoldier beasties. Their name, cleverly, stands for SYNthesized GENetic ORganism, and of course when unleashed they will suck all of our spinal fluid and pose a great threat to blah blah blah. Gale's pretty great, but the creatures are the best part, since you get to see enough of them and cause some solid carnage here and there. The costumes, although very cool, are left over from a movie called "Scared To Death," which is only remembered by those who have built a (very) minor cult around "Syngenor." Me, I wouldn't be surprised if it came out ol' Syngie is related to The Beast from "Krull." Need evidence?
"Death of a Ninja" (aka "Ninja Wars"/"Iga Ninpo-cho"): "The Street Fighter" hero Sonny Chiba has a bit role in this, another bizarro winner from that famous 50-pack of Jack's. Today Chiba's probably best known in the West for "Kill Bill," in which he played Hattori Hanzo, also the name of a character in this film who is not played by Chiba. Confused? Welcome to the loony world of fantasy martial arts movies, where it's often assumed that every viewer has a PhD in pan-Asian history. This one's got hot twin sisters who get their heads switched, lasers shooting out of eyes, reincarnating demon monks (one's vomit explodes upon impact!), questionable nudity and beheadings with long takes of blood spraying from the stumps, GWAR-style. Quality all around.
Jamming frequently: new Hypocrisy, God Forbid, The Number 12 Looks Like You, Consequence and Code.
"The Black Six": As in, they're black, and there are six of them. Bikers, wouldn't ya know. And they're played by a bunch of off-season '70s NFL pros, including "Mean" Joe Greene and five dudes I might have heard of if I had any interest in sports. Vintage blaxploitation shenanigans go down when the brother of one of these guys gets killed by a racist cracker bike gang. just for dating a white girl. As far as these things go, it's not particularly outrageous or memorable. In fact the best part is also the worst part - the "we're driving around" scenes go on FOREVER, but it's only then that you can hear the funky theme song complete with its bad-ass horn line. The ending, which involves every Johnny Reb biker in the area showing up to throw flares at our heroes, is abrupt and ridiculous.
"Syngenor": This is one I remember my old buddy Funk Dracula talking about back in the day. It stars the great David Gale of "Re-Animator" fame in his final screen appearance, and he really hams it up as an evil industrialist whose company developed the titular supersoldier beasties. Their name, cleverly, stands for SYNthesized GENetic ORganism, and of course when unleashed they will suck all of our spinal fluid and pose a great threat to blah blah blah. Gale's pretty great, but the creatures are the best part, since you get to see enough of them and cause some solid carnage here and there. The costumes, although very cool, are left over from a movie called "Scared To Death," which is only remembered by those who have built a (very) minor cult around "Syngenor." Me, I wouldn't be surprised if it came out ol' Syngie is related to The Beast from "Krull." Need evidence?
"Death of a Ninja" (aka "Ninja Wars"/"Iga Ninpo-cho"): "The Street Fighter" hero Sonny Chiba has a bit role in this, another bizarro winner from that famous 50-pack of Jack's. Today Chiba's probably best known in the West for "Kill Bill," in which he played Hattori Hanzo, also the name of a character in this film who is not played by Chiba. Confused? Welcome to the loony world of fantasy martial arts movies, where it's often assumed that every viewer has a PhD in pan-Asian history. This one's got hot twin sisters who get their heads switched, lasers shooting out of eyes, reincarnating demon monks (one's vomit explodes upon impact!), questionable nudity and beheadings with long takes of blood spraying from the stumps, GWAR-style. Quality all around.Jamming frequently: new Hypocrisy, God Forbid, The Number 12 Looks Like You, Consequence and Code.
posted by SoulReaper at 6:43 PM
2 Comments:
Ahh, Krull... the movie that is guilty both of misusing Liam Neeson in a minor role, and of convincing me that threatening the bullies at school with a starfish was going to save me from getting stuffed in that Dumpster. I should stop trying to take advice from shit B flicks I watch when I'm home sick during the day... I won't even tell you what happened when I watched "Enemy Mine."
They sound like winners, all. I'd especially like to see "The Black Six" or seven, or whatever.
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