Another 48 questions

A MySpace quiz, courtesy of abraxasworld. I am one lazy S.O.B.

1. What's your middle name?:
Michael.

2. Is your cell phone a flip phone?:
Yup yup. Where you at, dawg?

3. Have you ever been to New Jersey?
Yes. In the troubling days of April 2001, I went with Funk Dracula to visit Kyle, meet Renee and see Opeth's second American show. I remember that we left the day after my mom lost her job.

4. What's your favorite soda?
Cherry Coke or Barq's (root beer with caffeine!)

5. Do you have satellite?
No, but the first album for which I ever wrote a review was called Beloved Satellite. Be glad you have never heard of Sativa Luvbox.

6. Where do you want to retire?
Someplace peaceful and coniferous.

7. What's the longest road trip you've been on?
Don't know... that trip to Jersey was epic. In eighth grade I rode with my uncle and cousins down to Texas. Probably one of those.

8. What's your favorite smiley?
Tavis.

9. Do your parents buy lottery tickets in hopes of winning?
I don't think they do it often, but when they do I imagine they hope to win.

10. What year were you born?
1975.

11. Do you like the smell of Sharpies?:
Yes.

12. What does your screensaver look like?:
At home, it's a bunch of old movie posters I have in the "My Pictures" folder, stuff like "Humanoids from the Deep," "Red Sonja" and "I Hate My Body!" At work, the screen goes pink and in big white letters it reads: ")) <> (( FOREVER." (People who get it think it's hilarious.)

13. Do you have an iPod?:
No, I have no use for it. Seriously, I'm rarely any place I don't have a CD player at my disposal. And do I look like I'm into ab blasts or quad crunches?

14. What's your biggest pet peeve?:
Ignorance (especially ignoring the elephant in the room).

15. What shoe size do you wear?:
12.

16. What's your favorite kind of cereal?:
Trader Joe's organic granola is awesome. Peanut Butter Crunch is my childhood favorite.

17. Do you ever listen to classical music?:
Everybody listens to classical music sometimes, like everyone listens to country or smooth jazz or goddamned fucking zydeco sometimes. Whether you do so by choice is another matter. I don't have anything against straight-up classical but own more "neo-classical," because I'm really a rock guy. (I have several metal versons of Orff's "Carmina Burana," for instance.) Overall, classical is underrepresented in my regular listening habits.

18. What kind of instruments do you play?:
Saxophone in grade school, but that's long forgotten. Now I'm better suited for tambourine, cowbell, handclaps or background vox.

19. Do you like Girl Scout cookies?
For the most part. Expensive fucking things, though.

20. Have you ever ridden in a limo?:
Yes.

21. Do you like Hummers?:
Yes. Wait, the military vehicles? Every time I see some spray-tanned, only-smokes-cigars-in-public honky driving one, I think, "You could have gotten the same effect and saved more money for coke, hookers and Republican fundraisers by just getting 'ASSHOLE' tattooed across your forehead."

22. Do you know any foreign languages?:
Covered on a previous quiz. A little Spanish, random words from others.

23. Are you scared of horses?:
That is a fucking hilarious question. I rarely come in contact with them. I'm more scared of movies starring actresses who look like horses.

24. Do you like milk chocolate or dark chocolate?
Both.

25. Do you wear glasses?:
Again, previously covered. Sunglasses.

26. Does it annoy you when people misspell things?:
Sometimes. I usually think stupid people are funny.

27. Do you like the beach or the mountains better?:
Are you fucking kidding me? The mountains. Beaches are usually hot, messy, boring and littered with preening fucksticks and their screeching, unholy offspring.

28. Have you ever taken cough medicine when you didn't have a cough?:
I drank a whole bottle of Vick's 44D my freshman year of college. I fell asleep in my dorm room, and when I woke up, I thought I was at my grandma's house.

29. Have you ever been to band camp?:
No.

30. Do you know any guys with a receding hair line?:
Some have argued that I do not know myself, but I think I do.

31. Do you know what Chacos are?:
A new competitor of Choco-Tacos? According to Google, they are some kind of overpriced hippie half-shoes.

32. Do you own a Nalgene?:
No, but I have everything Naglfar has done. The new one is growing on me:

Naglfar: The Perpetual Horrors

Video Code by YourVideoCodes.com

33. Have you ever watched "Room Raiders" on MTV?:
Why would I want to do that? It sounds like the worst parts of "Queer Eye" without the camp. The last MTV product in which I had any sustained interest was "Wonder Showzen", the poor man's "TV Funhouse". (I thought "Wonder Showzen" was canceled to make more room for promoting the embarrassing Simpson and Osbourne families, but it's actually returning later this month.)

34. What's the best present you've ever got?:
The one that comes to mind is a very nice voice mail I got for my last birthday, but that turned out to be a sort of, um, Indian gift. My parents took me on a trip to Vegas for my 21st birthday; that was rad.

35. What's your favorite popsicle flavor?:
Root beer.

36. Do your parents give you an allowance?:
Yeah, if I clean my room, feed Lil' Scraps and remember to wash my hands before praying.

37. Did you ever watch Rugrats when you were little?:
No, I wasn't little when it was on. Plus I thought the animation was ugly and boring. The voices were shrill. A good example of the generation gap, since I hang out with people who were young enough not to see how crappy it was.

38. How many groups are you in on myspace?
None. I already have 35 friends - Porcupine Tree just sent me a friend request. That's cool right there. I don't need more interaction.

39. What do you think of standardized tests?:
They certainly prove how well the person taking them can take standardized tests.

40. What's the craziest dare you've ever done?:
I cannot think of one.

41. Have you ever cheated on a test?:
Sure, not since high school. I remember getting busted for writing the answers to a freshman honors English test on my hand.

42. Have you ever choked on your own spit?:
Probably.

43. Do you like roller coasters?:
Yes.

44. When was the last time you went rollerblading?
Never. I would prefer to keep it that way.

45. Have you ever wished you had a twin?:
No way. I wanted a sibling when I was a youth, but now I realize that would have impeded my growth as a loner.

46. Do you have a caffeine addiction?
Yessir, and I love it.

47. Do you get claustrophobic easily?:
Only in places where I'm lying down and can't sit up, such as waterslides, coffins, etc.

48. Would you ever kiss on the first date?:
I don't make a habit of it, but it's been known to happen. Curiously, while I haven't gotten a lot of ladies to agree to second dates, it's always happened if we've kissed on the first. Maybe I should be more of a masher. With this beard, all I need is a sailor's cap and I could be the next Bluto (read "Olive and the Bad Boys").