The most powerful thing on this universe
Do you realize how difficult it is to find a local tasseomancer on the internet? I hope not, for your sanity. Here are some movies I've seen recently.
"Tim Burton's Corpse Bride" - Fucking beautiful. It may have toppled "Sin City" as my favorite of the year. Other than the intricate, fluid puppet animation, you can't really compare it with "The Nightmare Before Christmas." (Elfman's songs aren't as good here, but they're not bad either.) The story is a bit more grown-up, although it's still a kind of fairy tale and I would have no trouble showing it to a kid. This is the first Tim Burton movie in a long time that's not some sort of adaptation or tied to some known cultural quantity. Actually, it's the first since "Nightmare" and "Edward Scissorhands," which were not coincidentally Burton's last films until this one for which Caroline Thompson earned a writing credit. "Corpse Bride" is reminiscent of both of those movies in numerous ways, and that's fine with me. The voice acting is perfect all around, notably Burton stock players Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, Albert Finney, Christopher Lee and Michael Gough. I intend to see it again at least once more before it leaves theaters, since it doesn't have the perennial holiday appeal of "Nightmare," it probably won't get re-released like that did. Trust me, don't wait for DVD. I'll say no more.
"Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children" - Other than one time I started playing the first NES game on an emulator, I have never devoted any time to the beloved "Final Fantasy" series. This is probably because I don't play many video games, and if I do, it's not going to be a months-sucking RPG. But I understand that the seventh installment was some sort of narrative landmark in gaming, and figured that this movie sequel to the game would probably look really cool but remain impenetrable to me. Through a circuitous source and no effort of my own, I find myself with a copy of the Japanese DVD. Guess what? The animation is very nice, much more impressive than in the previous "FF" movie, though the humans still looked half real/half fakey. I sort of figured out what was going on, but not without Jack telling me "That guy killed the fourth Solar Eagle Mage and set off a space-time rift, poisoning their atmosphere" or "That girl ran a white slavery and piracy ring for that girl, and they were lovers until that guy with the ridiculous hair came around and stole their booty." Yep, anime is anime, even if it's dolled up in fancy computer generated images. I mean, that's not really the plot, but honestly, is the actual story any less outlandish? Maybe if you've spent countless hours summoning Lightning Whatzises and Soul-Shattering Whirlythings to boost your Geothermalitis Levels, it is. Jack and Barry were mad that there were no Chocobos in it, if that means anything to you.
"The Revenge of Dr. X" (aka "The Venus Flytrap") - The credits, obviously spliced from another movie, assert that this is one of Eddie Romero's John Ashley vehicles, probably "Mad Doctor of Blood Island," but it's actually an obscure z-grade "Little Shop of Horrors" ripoff scripted by Ed Wood. Of course the dialogue's amazing and unnatural, but the mustachioed star, James Craig, really sells it. I guess he was an old cowboy actor, and he's always yelling. He sounds like someone who went to school to turn his Southern accent into a Midwestern one so he could work in radio, but ended up sleeping through a lot of classes because he was working four jobs to afford all the drinks he kept buying for coeds who wouldn't sleep with him. He'll sound all normal, but when he gets riled up or ends a word in "-ing," the twang pops right up, and it's often hilarious. While he's yelling maniacally at the man-eating venus flytrap which he's been developing on his summer-long vacation (great benefits package at NASA), he says, "Your mother was the soil. Perhaps... perhaps the LIGHTNIN' will become your father!" This guy's so awkward around women he makes me feel like a fucking playa, and his attempts to court his heavily-accented Japanese lab assistant could be outtakes from "The 40 Year-Old Virgin" if he wasn't so salacious and BPD about it. At one point, a bunch of topless pearl divers show up, which is a bit jarring, but that's the only nudity in the whole thing. Tedious, cheap, tangential, pointlessly pretentious... pure Ed Wood.
"A History of Violence" - There's some brutal shit in here, but it's not horror or even an action flick. This is probably David Cronenberg's most mainstream movie to date, one for which you'd have to stretch your imagination pretty far to find his usual dysmorphic themes. But a number of other Cronenberg trademarks remain apparent, such as stiff acting and a swelling sense of unease. I'd say Ed Harris and Maria Bello are the standouts, his role more flashy than hers but both completely convincing. This is one of those where the less you know going in, the more rewarding it is, but I fear the ads have dropped too many clues already. It's not Cronenberg's best movie, despite what mainstream critics may want you to believe - have these people never seen "The Brood", "Videodrome" or "Crash"? Nonetheless, if you enjoyed other feel-good flicks like "Mystic River" or "In the Bedroom" and can handle a smattering of matter-of-fact gore, this is right up your alley.
That's it for this installment. Next time, the stuff I saw over the weekend. In other news, I am sad to report that Stratovarius indeed did not get their shit together for their post-freakout return album. I read someone comparing their much-hyped change of direction to Metallica's approach on their own self-titled "black" album, and that's apt, as this crud is similarly watered down and disappointing to longtime fans. Problem is, Stratovarius' chances for taking over American airwaves in 2005 by slowing up and dumbing it down aren't as good as Metallica's were back in 1991. However, the Rev. Run album is surprisingly great, short though it may be. You can hear the whole thing on his Myspace page. It's probably gonna make me pick up those Run-D.M.C. reissues. Finally, a review of the new Minsk CD. Have a nice day.
"Tim Burton's Corpse Bride" - Fucking beautiful. It may have toppled "Sin City" as my favorite of the year. Other than the intricate, fluid puppet animation, you can't really compare it with "The Nightmare Before Christmas." (Elfman's songs aren't as good here, but they're not bad either.) The story is a bit more grown-up, although it's still a kind of fairy tale and I would have no trouble showing it to a kid. This is the first Tim Burton movie in a long time that's not some sort of adaptation or tied to some known cultural quantity. Actually, it's the first since "Nightmare" and "Edward Scissorhands," which were not coincidentally Burton's last films until this one for which Caroline Thompson earned a writing credit. "Corpse Bride" is reminiscent of both of those movies in numerous ways, and that's fine with me. The voice acting is perfect all around, notably Burton stock players Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, Albert Finney, Christopher Lee and Michael Gough. I intend to see it again at least once more before it leaves theaters, since it doesn't have the perennial holiday appeal of "Nightmare," it probably won't get re-released like that did. Trust me, don't wait for DVD. I'll say no more.
"Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children" - Other than one time I started playing the first NES game on an emulator, I have never devoted any time to the beloved "Final Fantasy" series. This is probably because I don't play many video games, and if I do, it's not going to be a months-sucking RPG. But I understand that the seventh installment was some sort of narrative landmark in gaming, and figured that this movie sequel to the game would probably look really cool but remain impenetrable to me. Through a circuitous source and no effort of my own, I find myself with a copy of the Japanese DVD. Guess what? The animation is very nice, much more impressive than in the previous "FF" movie, though the humans still looked half real/half fakey. I sort of figured out what was going on, but not without Jack telling me "That guy killed the fourth Solar Eagle Mage and set off a space-time rift, poisoning their atmosphere" or "That girl ran a white slavery and piracy ring for that girl, and they were lovers until that guy with the ridiculous hair came around and stole their booty." Yep, anime is anime, even if it's dolled up in fancy computer generated images. I mean, that's not really the plot, but honestly, is the actual story any less outlandish? Maybe if you've spent countless hours summoning Lightning Whatzises and Soul-Shattering Whirlythings to boost your Geothermalitis Levels, it is. Jack and Barry were mad that there were no Chocobos in it, if that means anything to you.
"The Revenge of Dr. X" (aka "The Venus Flytrap") - The credits, obviously spliced from another movie, assert that this is one of Eddie Romero's John Ashley vehicles, probably "Mad Doctor of Blood Island," but it's actually an obscure z-grade "Little Shop of Horrors" ripoff scripted by Ed Wood. Of course the dialogue's amazing and unnatural, but the mustachioed star, James Craig, really sells it. I guess he was an old cowboy actor, and he's always yelling. He sounds like someone who went to school to turn his Southern accent into a Midwestern one so he could work in radio, but ended up sleeping through a lot of classes because he was working four jobs to afford all the drinks he kept buying for coeds who wouldn't sleep with him. He'll sound all normal, but when he gets riled up or ends a word in "-ing," the twang pops right up, and it's often hilarious. While he's yelling maniacally at the man-eating venus flytrap which he's been developing on his summer-long vacation (great benefits package at NASA), he says, "Your mother was the soil. Perhaps... perhaps the LIGHTNIN' will become your father!" This guy's so awkward around women he makes me feel like a fucking playa, and his attempts to court his heavily-accented Japanese lab assistant could be outtakes from "The 40 Year-Old Virgin" if he wasn't so salacious and BPD about it. At one point, a bunch of topless pearl divers show up, which is a bit jarring, but that's the only nudity in the whole thing. Tedious, cheap, tangential, pointlessly pretentious... pure Ed Wood.
"A History of Violence" - There's some brutal shit in here, but it's not horror or even an action flick. This is probably David Cronenberg's most mainstream movie to date, one for which you'd have to stretch your imagination pretty far to find his usual dysmorphic themes. But a number of other Cronenberg trademarks remain apparent, such as stiff acting and a swelling sense of unease. I'd say Ed Harris and Maria Bello are the standouts, his role more flashy than hers but both completely convincing. This is one of those where the less you know going in, the more rewarding it is, but I fear the ads have dropped too many clues already. It's not Cronenberg's best movie, despite what mainstream critics may want you to believe - have these people never seen "The Brood", "Videodrome" or "Crash"? Nonetheless, if you enjoyed other feel-good flicks like "Mystic River" or "In the Bedroom" and can handle a smattering of matter-of-fact gore, this is right up your alley.
That's it for this installment. Next time, the stuff I saw over the weekend. In other news, I am sad to report that Stratovarius indeed did not get their shit together for their post-freakout return album. I read someone comparing their much-hyped change of direction to Metallica's approach on their own self-titled "black" album, and that's apt, as this crud is similarly watered down and disappointing to longtime fans. Problem is, Stratovarius' chances for taking over American airwaves in 2005 by slowing up and dumbing it down aren't as good as Metallica's were back in 1991. However, the Rev. Run album is surprisingly great, short though it may be. You can hear the whole thing on his Myspace page. It's probably gonna make me pick up those Run-D.M.C. reissues. Finally, a review of the new Minsk CD. Have a nice day.
posted by SoulReaper at 1:31 PM
2 Comments:
Minsk, "Out of a Center Which Is Neither Dead Nor Alive" (At A Loss) ***
For some reason, indie rockers' condescending attitude about metal fades in the presence of certain subgenres such as mathcore or doom. If it's devoid of melodic hooks, red-line rhythms or proper singing, hipsters will approve.
Minsk's psychedelic tribal sludge certainly fits that bill. This debut full-length by the downstate quartet (featuring bassist Sanford Parker of the sadly defunct Chicago doom outfit Buried at Sea) has artsy texture and slow-motion ambience to spare. In that it's similar to Neurosis, Isis or Pelican, Minsk's approach is sure to be a hit with the indie crowd.
All six tracks here hover around the 10-minute mark, and the individual songs ebb and flow with crust-cracking heft. As such, there's no catchy harmonies or sing-along choruses, but plenty of blissful textures are woven among the downtrodden loping. These are enhanced by curiosities like the electronic buzzing that kicks the climax of "Narcotics and Dissecting Knives" into overdrive or Yakuza's Bruce Lamont dribbling late-night malaise via saxophone into the ever-swelling "Wisp of Tow."
Minsk follows the typical school of post-whatever metal, relying on organic interplay among instruments and a brooding sense of movement. But the quintet also recalls the plodding likes of Godflesh, who amassed hipster cool with loud and repetitive droning. "Center" requires too much patience to appeal to the average Slipknot fan and will annoy the heck out of your teenage sister. But manic-depressives, cheap booze addicts and indie metalheads: You need this.
Dude, nobody liked "Crash" except you and me. And maybe Jack and Brian. And Kim, who I think was faking it so she wouldn't look stupid.
My recommendation for when it comes out in the midwest: Clooney's "Good Night, and Good Luck." Pure awesomery.
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