Thank you, Doctor Monkey
Holy shit, I saw the craziest movie the other day. Jack bought this amazing cheapo DVD pack of 50 "martial arts" flicks. We watched one from which the package promised roller-skating ninjas, a monkey with superpowers and superstar Carter Wong (of such personal favorites as "Succubare" and "Shaolin Kung Fu Mystagogue"). The version we saw was unmemorably entitled "Kung Fu Arts." I prefer its alternate name, "Raging Tiger vs. Monkey King," or at least "Kung Fu: Monkey, Horse, Tiger." However, none of those adequately describe the lunacy of this thing. I'll need to cannabalize content from Shaolin Chamber to demonstrate.
The credits refer to "Sida the French Monkey Star," and even if that distinction is pure ballyhoo, this chimp can act. He shows up at the house of the Emperor, who declared that anyone who can heal his dying daughter can marry the sick girl. The Emperor's aide comes in and tells him a doctor is outside, but he's not a regular doctor... he's a monkey. Eyebrows contorting, the Emperor bellows, "A MONKEY?!?" which is followed by an odd sting of threatening music. Sure enough, the monkey's potion cures the girl and she has to marry him. Here I lost concentration, thinking about how this set-up could become an interesting meditation on the traditional social position of women in China, a freakshow flipside of "Raise the Red Lantern" without the nice cinematography. (It did not.)
The Princess and the monkey go off to an island and live together, and after a vaguely tender scene between them we see that she's pregnant. Naturally, I was hoping she'd been knocked up by Doctor Monkey and that her swollen loins would soon burst forth an ungodly monkey-man, but sadly the dad turns out to be the young malcontent played by Wong, who's been in hiding for most of the movie. The kid, who runs around in a Tarzan-style leopard pelt seemingly fashioned from a jacket discarded by some cheap Vegas floozy, calls him Uncle Monkey (the whole relationship is demonstrated in this amazing soundclip). When Wong shows up, he runs into the monkey and reveals that the little critter was actually his emissary, right before Doctor/Uncle Monkey is tragically crushed by a python. This is depicted with the monkey thrashing, the snake wrapped loosely around him, and a sudden freeze frame. Again with the threatening soundtrack sting.
A bunch of dull, sub-"Attack of the Clones" castle intrigue ensues, and the movie really lags as the Wong/Princess family is menaced by the new, evil, leopard-print-loving usurper Emperor and his lackeys. Eventually the kid, who learned special simian communication from his Uncle, leads all the monkeys in the forest to attack the palace. There's a fantastic scene with a couple in bed where the lady tells the man to stop touching her, but after she wakes him up she realizes it's not him. The bed is crawling with monkeys! In sheer horror, the guy bellows, "A MONKEY?!?" and they tear ass out of the room as if this was a killer rat movie or something. After the good guys win, the kid realizes he gave the monkeys a bunch of wine, so he runs outside and chastises them against the perils of alcohol. The end. Wow.
After some sleuthing, I have deduced that distributor Treeline Films lifted the misleading package description directly from the IMDB's user comments, specifically the one by Marc. If you go to Marc's other IMDB comments and look at "Ninja Apocalypse," you'll see he's got some weird inside joke going on and he's not actually describing these movies. So either Treeline is run by a bunch of lazy fucks - although the relative quality of their transfers would connote otherwise - or Marc works for Treeline and thinks this is all hilarious. If only he'd actually watched it.
For your weekend pleasure, here's a link to a new Gogol Bordello song: "Sally". It plays in Quicktime, and it's another fun chunk of cultural-wall-smashing Gypsy punk. And check out this story I wrote on Chicago's Intonation Music Festival: a rare fit of non-metal reporting. (The unidentified band whose photo originally ran with the story is The Decemberists.)
The credits refer to "Sida the French Monkey Star," and even if that distinction is pure ballyhoo, this chimp can act. He shows up at the house of the Emperor, who declared that anyone who can heal his dying daughter can marry the sick girl. The Emperor's aide comes in and tells him a doctor is outside, but he's not a regular doctor... he's a monkey. Eyebrows contorting, the Emperor bellows, "A MONKEY?!?" which is followed by an odd sting of threatening music. Sure enough, the monkey's potion cures the girl and she has to marry him. Here I lost concentration, thinking about how this set-up could become an interesting meditation on the traditional social position of women in China, a freakshow flipside of "Raise the Red Lantern" without the nice cinematography. (It did not.)
The Princess and the monkey go off to an island and live together, and after a vaguely tender scene between them we see that she's pregnant. Naturally, I was hoping she'd been knocked up by Doctor Monkey and that her swollen loins would soon burst forth an ungodly monkey-man, but sadly the dad turns out to be the young malcontent played by Wong, who's been in hiding for most of the movie. The kid, who runs around in a Tarzan-style leopard pelt seemingly fashioned from a jacket discarded by some cheap Vegas floozy, calls him Uncle Monkey (the whole relationship is demonstrated in this amazing soundclip). When Wong shows up, he runs into the monkey and reveals that the little critter was actually his emissary, right before Doctor/Uncle Monkey is tragically crushed by a python. This is depicted with the monkey thrashing, the snake wrapped loosely around him, and a sudden freeze frame. Again with the threatening soundtrack sting.
A bunch of dull, sub-"Attack of the Clones" castle intrigue ensues, and the movie really lags as the Wong/Princess family is menaced by the new, evil, leopard-print-loving usurper Emperor and his lackeys. Eventually the kid, who learned special simian communication from his Uncle, leads all the monkeys in the forest to attack the palace. There's a fantastic scene with a couple in bed where the lady tells the man to stop touching her, but after she wakes him up she realizes it's not him. The bed is crawling with monkeys! In sheer horror, the guy bellows, "A MONKEY?!?" and they tear ass out of the room as if this was a killer rat movie or something. After the good guys win, the kid realizes he gave the monkeys a bunch of wine, so he runs outside and chastises them against the perils of alcohol. The end. Wow.
After some sleuthing, I have deduced that distributor Treeline Films lifted the misleading package description directly from the IMDB's user comments, specifically the one by Marc. If you go to Marc's other IMDB comments and look at "Ninja Apocalypse," you'll see he's got some weird inside joke going on and he's not actually describing these movies. So either Treeline is run by a bunch of lazy fucks - although the relative quality of their transfers would connote otherwise - or Marc works for Treeline and thinks this is all hilarious. If only he'd actually watched it.
For your weekend pleasure, here's a link to a new Gogol Bordello song: "Sally". It plays in Quicktime, and it's another fun chunk of cultural-wall-smashing Gypsy punk. And check out this story I wrote on Chicago's Intonation Music Festival: a rare fit of non-metal reporting. (The unidentified band whose photo originally ran with the story is The Decemberists.)
posted by SoulReaper at 6:26 PM
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Greetings from San Diego Comic-Con, where I was introduced to (but unfortunately unable to watch) a film called "The Gods Must Be Crazy III: Vampires Must Be Crazy," a Korean film that is, in fact, an authorized sequel to "The Gods Must Be Crazy II." It features the same guy from the first two films (referred to on the back of the box as "The Cola Bushman") and some vampires. For real.
Street cred
Indie bands make Intonation a different kind of neighborhood fest
When Mike Reed worked at a marketing company, he saw plenty of things about local festivals that he didn't like.
"We did all these really crappy neighborhood street festivals, so I kind of had insight to how they ran," Reed says. "That was really the first model. OK, there are all these dumb street festivals. What if we made one that was really cool?"
The result of that idea is this weekend's Intonation Music Festival, launching Saturday and Sunday at Chicago's Union Park. With headliners including post-rock godfathers Tortoise and theatrical folk-pop group The Decemberists, Intonation's cool factor is unquestioned.
One of the festival's creators, Reed is a drummer specializing in free jazz. As a founder of the Emerging Improvisors Organization, he organizes the weekly Sunday Transmission series at Chicago bar the Hungry Brain and other small shows, but nothing before on the scale of Intonation.
Reed and the other organizers approached Wicker Park-based Pitchfork Media to select the bands. The influential daily online music publication specializes in independent music in genres from rock and hip-hop to jazz and experimental. Having wanted to put together an event but lacking the resources or know-how, the staff leapt at the chance.
"Coming back from the first meeting," recalls Pitchfork editor-in-chief Ryan Schreiber, "we were in the car heading back to the office, just so excited about the prospect of all of these bands that we could have, naming off bands left and right. The way that it ended up coming together, the final band roster that we have is not too different from the original line-up that we came up with. Obviously there are fewer bands."
That final roster includes art-punks Les Savy Fav, put-upon indie heroes The Wrens, Xiu Xiu's new wave electro-emo, country-tinged Magnolia Electric Co. and catchy, chaotic experimentalists Deerhoof.
Traditional rock fans can find a hook in the power pop of A.C. Newman (leader of indie supergroup The New Pornographers), brash bangers Death From Above 1979, Broken Social Scene's ambient pop or The Hold Steady's classic rock leanings. For left-field rhythms, check out Out Hud's dance-punk, Four Tet's lo-fi electronica or Prefuse 73, who filters indie hip-hop through glitch electronics.
From the ground up
The festival was originally slated for smaller Pulaski Park, but Reed admits, "I think we had a really naive idea about it. We were thinking we'd have some Wicker Park hipsters come to this, maybe some kids driving in from Iowa City or Madison or Bloomington, Ind. We didn't want to deal with TicketMaster, so we weren't going to sell any tickets in advance.
"But the response was ridiculous right from the first day. We had people saying they're driving in from Vermont, flying in from England, and we were like, 'What if somebody drives all this way and can't get in?' Then all the lazy people who aren't going to buy their tickets until two days before are going to show up, and we're going to have a mob scene. So we needed a bigger space. Union seemed to be the best choice because of its location, its accessibility from two highways and the Green Line."
As the event expanded, organizers sought insight from friends and consultants, such as the folks who put on last weekend's Chicago Folk and Roots Festival. Reed cites the Chicago Park District as being particularly helpful, a surprise given the resistance countless concert promoters have met from the city.
"The way I look at it is that maybe they don't want to do what the park or the city requires them to," Reed suggests. "If you have private property, you can basically call your own shots. On our end, we were more than happy. It's like, 'Sure, we'll bring in another tactical team. Sure, we'll hire more security if that's what you think we need to make this happen.' Because at the end of the day, we want it to be safe and secure. We want everybody to walk away happy."
"We got United Center to let us use their parking lot for this," Schreiber says. "On top of that, the CTA has changed the bus routes with more buses running on that street during the festival and they've rerouted buses to avoid chaos. Again, the intent was to make it something kind of low-key and cool and comfortable."
According to Reed, Intonation's organizers haven't fought with the parks, so he's not sure what issues were most contentious for other failed attempts. However, the organizers could be sure to avoid the trappings of typical summer events.
"I think what routinely happens with summer concert festivals is people get very greedy," Schreiber says. "It becomes a huge corporate moneymaking endeavor, where they want to get the biggest bands to draw the biggest audience possible, as many as they can possibly get from wherever. Money is for sure not the focus of this. We wanted to put on something that would be really amazing and fun and diverges from the stereotypical festival experience, where it's really crowded, sweltering hot, there's $6 waters and nowhere to go to the bathroom."
Intonation's genesis as a street festival is evident in that it's set up in a neighborhood versus a major concert venue. The stages and grounds are not permanent fixtures but are being built in Union Park. Attendees can browse WLUW 88.7-FM's Independent Label and Vinyl Fair, as well as food from local restaurants, clothing and art vendors.
As cutting-edge as the lineup is, Intonation keeps the spirit of a street fair as a family event. Entry is free for children younger than 10, and the Chicago Children's Museum will have a station where kids can make their own album cover art from old LP jackets.
Music matters
Schreiber maintains that Pitchfork's goal in crafting the lineup was "to represent a diverse array of great bands from all different genres. When you come out, even if you don't know all the bands, you're going to see a whole lot of different types of music by artists from all around the United States and other countries."
Two Intonation acts are making their live American debuts this weekend. Brighton, England's The Go! Team, also playing tonight at Double Door, create what Schreiber describes as "sort of '70s sunshine funk mixed with really early hip-hop and '80s TV action theme music." As for Dungen's psychedelic '60s stoner rock, Schreiber says the Swedish-voiced singer is "so authentic" that upon first listen he checked his promo to make sure it wasn't a reissue.
Along with Tortoise, who headline Saturday, Intonation represents Chicago with genre-bending folk/jazz violinist Andrew Bird, instrumental sludge metal quartet Pelican, glammy garage rockers The M's and Head of Femur's trippy orchestral pop.
Two stages of live music are offset by a tent where atypical DJs spin their favorites. Hip-hop names like El-P and Jean Grae seem like natural choices, but the most curiosity surrounds scruffy indie folk icon Will Oldham (Bonnie "Prince" Billy, Palace). Schreiber predicts that Oldham's selections will be a surprise, noting "he has an incredibly diverse taste in music. Not a lot of people know that in concert last year he covered R. Kelly's 'Ignition.' "
"Right now, every 10 minutes I'm trying to find out if the weather's changing," says Reed when faced with the suggestion that Intonation become an annual event. "But I think that's on everybody's mind, and once the dust settles we can come up with a plan. If we can do it once, building something from dirt and getting it up and running, it would be kind of dumb not to do it again."
Intonation Music Festival
Where: Union Park, 1501 W. Randolph St., Chicago
When: 1 p.m. Saturday and Sunday
Tickets: $15 per day, $22 for two-day pass
Phone: (800) 594-8499
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