RECIPE #12: Grandma's Pierogi

I hope you're having as lovely a holiday season as I am. People went crazy with Xmas gifts this year, the theme being my newfound enjoyment of following recipes. In addition to assorted clothing items, gift cards and whatnot, my haul included a blender, a food processor, a professional chef's knife, an organic cookbook, fancy oven mitts, a set of cute Coca-Cola glasses, two pitchers, two different spice assortments and one of those rolling island/shelf/cart jobbers. Although I've fulfilled my New Year's resolution - constructing one recipe a month for the entire year - I certainly don't intend to stop. There's not going to be a monthly regimen and report, but believe me, I've caught the cooking bug for good. I may even tell you about it from time to time.

The recipe that inspired the whole endeavor was saved for last. My 100% Polish family cherishes a number of traditional dishes, many of which we only enjoy at the holidays. One of the best-loved staples is pierogi, which contrary to popular Americanization is pronounced in our houses as "pya-DOG-gee," not "pa-RO-gee." Grandma and Grandpa used to work on these little dumplings together every year, filling them with an ever-expanding assortment of treats. However, the pierogi production tapered off after my grandfather passed away in 1996 and my grandmother found it more physically difficult to cook, not to mention carry on a tradition she had maintained with her love of more than half a century. We buy them at a local Polish shop, but they're dinky little things and don't taste the same.

Although we've had homemade pierogi a few times since due to the assistance of my mother or uncle, no one really knew the recipe except Grandma. She's still kicking ass, but she's in her 80s. I decided I wanted to learn how to make them, and I'd write down the steps so that we could preserve a crucial dish before it was lost forever. So, earlier this month, I sat down with Grandma, mom and dad to revive the old tradition. We would have homemade pierogi for Xmas by hook or by crook.

No, that's not cocaine. It's flour, the crucial component of your first step, the dough. I should note that we had the use of Grandma's trusty old Cuisinart for the duration of this recipe, which made it much easier than if we'd done everything with spoons and knives. In fact, the food processor was absolutely essential to Grandma's recollection of pierogi preparation, since she had been using it for a number of years before she stopped making them.

Anyway, we put 2 and 1/2 cups of unsifted flour, 2 egg yolks (egg separators are so cool!), 8 oz. of sour cream and 1/2 teaspoon of salt into the Cuisinart, mixing with the large metal blade rather than the small plastic attachment the manufacturers intended for dough. SoulReaper's family doesn't fuck around with wimpy food processor accessories. There was no speed setting, but Grandma says you'd use "high" on any other machine. We kept mixing until the ingredients began to clump together, then removed the dough, rolled it into a ball, put it in a sealable plastic bag and put it in the fridge. (You should leave it in for at least 5 or 10 minutes, or for as long as you'd like after that.) The process was repeated twice, once for each of the three batches we made.

Our first filling was potato, an identical mixture to the mashed potatoes Grandma used to make. We started by peeling and boiling five large baking potatoes, removing them from the water when soft. Next, we cubed the tubers, not worrying if they crumbled since they were subsequently moved to a bowl and mashed by hand with a fork. At some point during the '80s, Grandma started adding cheese, just enough for a little color and zing but not enough to overpower the natural spud flavor. Thus, we tore up two slices of American cheese and sprinkled them over the mashed potatoes while they were still warm, mixing until all the cheese was melted and blended. After adding 1/4 teaspoon of salt, 1/4 teaspoon of black pepper (Mom and Dad claim Watkins' is the strongest-flavored brand) and 1 tablespoon of milk, the potatoes got a final blend and were ready to go.

Filling number two was fresh cabbage. As my dad would be quick to tell you, this is different from sauerkraut (kapusta for my Poles) in that you're not brining the cabbage, so it doesn't bite your tongue the same way. Dad handled the task of shredding an entire medium cabbage and chopping one medium white onion while mom and I worked on other things. (Grandma supervised, answering questions and enjoying the process as it unfolded. She was beaming like a kid.) In a large pan with a cover, we melted one stick of unsalted butter and sauteed the onion until it was translucent. After this, all of the cabbage plus 1 teaspoon of salt, 1/2 teaspoon of black pepper, 3 tablespoons of water and another whole stick of butter went into the pan. This was covered and cooked until it was thoroughly soft, with the occasional stir to distribute moisture.

The third and final filling was the easiest to put together. Cheese pierogi have been favorite of mine since I was a little kid, and remain popular with the children in our family today. I was amazed to find out that it's composed of only three ingredients. The first is 2 cups of cottage cheese. Grandma thought some moisture might be good, so we used one cup of dry curd and one cup of regular, but since the final texture was more liquidy than we'd have preferred, we determined it's better to just use two cups of the dry curd. So, the cottage cheese went into the Cuisinart, along with two eggs and 2 tablespoons of sugar, and we mixed it until it was a smooth, creamy paste. That's all there is to cheese pierogi filling. Simple, eh?

Now that the fillings were ready, we made the dumplings. I took out half of a dough ball, sprinkled out some flour and rolled the bastard as thinly as I could. Turned out we used a tad too much flour in the dough (the measurement was originally 3 cups), so it was mighty tough to roll. This made the pierogi dough a little thicker than usual, about 1/8 inch, although once cooked the dough tasted fine. For each individual dumpling, I used the mouth of a cup roughly four inches in diameter to cut out circles, returning the dough scraps to the bag and the fridge before rolling them out again.

In each of the little circles, I spooned a dollop of filling. It took some trial and error to determine the proper amount of potato, cabbage or cheese to use in each, but I got it down quickly. Then, careful not to let the filling spill out, I folded them in half and crimped the edges shut with a fork so that they both held together and made a cute ridged design along the edge. For the ones that weren't sticking, especially once I was re-using dough scraps that had been rolled several times, I applied a tiny bit of water to the edges with a pastry brush. Once filled and shut, the pierogi were dropped gently into a pot of boiling water and cooked until they floated to the top. We did several at once, making sure not to overcrowd the pot or mix up the batches. When they were ready, we moved them to a pan filled with melted butter. You can brown them if you like, but we just like to coat each side of the pierogi in butter before chowing down.

After repeating the process until all the dough was gone, we ended up with between 16 and 20 of each type of pierogi. That may not seem like a lot, but I remind you, we make big pierogi. This was just enough for Mom, Dad, Grandma, myself and Sassy Frass to have a taste before storing the rest for last night's "Xmas Part 3" dinner, when my cousin's family came up from Indianapolis to celebrate with us. After an overnight with the lady's family and three nights with mine, it's safe to say I'm way past done with Yuletide cheer, but I'm glad we still have a few pierogi left over for a little post-holiday snacking.

Hey, here's an interview with comedian Carlos Mencia that I conducted on Halloween. He didn't use his played-out catchphrase, and I didn't accuse him of stealing jokes from Joe Rogan. I think we were both thankful. Have a safe and happy NYE... I'll see you in January with my best of '07 lists in effect.