Forest danger

"The Woods"
(2006)

I am now fully convinced that last year was great for horror movies released in America. You wouldn't know it from the remakes and franchise flicks that made all the money - "Hostel" was the only really good original to pull in much scratch - but after such unheralded corkers as "Slither," "Feast" and now "The Woods," I'm ready to proclaim it a banner year. I have no idea why this went straight to DVD, or why the promotional art is so generic. "The Woods" is director Lucky McKee's follow-up to the exceptional "May," which was very well received. McKee also did the "Sick Girl" episode for Showtime's "Masters of Horrors" series, definitely one of the best episodes from the first season. I guess the studios were too busy last year wasting their time with pre-teen hokum like "Stay Alive" and that remake of "When a Stranger Calls," when here was a perfectly good non-extreme horror flick which could have been a hit if marketed correctly. McKee has a knack for interesting female characters, and "The Woods" being set at an all-girls' school allows him to flesh out a number of them. Sure, the plot sounds a lot like "Suspiria" on paper, but while that classic was an obvious inspiration here, this is not a thinly-veiled remake (see "House of 1,000 Corpses" and "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre"), and what it eschews in psychedelic overkill it makes up for in pacing and performances. The biggest names in the cast are Patricia Clarkson and Bruce Campbell, but the lead is a girl named Agnes Bruckner who totally amazed me, much like Angela Bettis did in "May."

Bruckner plays sullen teen firebug Heather, packed away to the private academy by her embarassed mom and concerned dad (Campbell, almost entirely playing it straight for a change). Heather keeps hearing voices calling to her from the forest surrounding the building, but she doesn't say anything because everyone's mean to her except a mousy girl named Marcy (Lauren Birkell). The meanest girl is a prissy blonde who seems to have something against people with red pubic hair. There's some sort of weird secret that the entire school doesn't want to talk about, and it's as if the faculty, led by Clarkson in excellent ice queen mode, is all in on it. It has something to do with the strange admission test all the girls take, the milk they're served at every meal and the woods. Students go missing, including Marcy after she and Heather have an altercation, and just as the blonde jerk turns cool and starts dishing clues, she turns up hung from the dorm ceiling. As Heather gets closer to the truth, she sprains her ankle, giving her a simple but effective handicap for the rest of the movie. Without giving too much away to anyone who hasn't seen "Suspiria" (fools!), I can say that there is a period where Heather seems to determine that it's too tough to fight the dark powers which are afoot, so she complies with it for a bit - this is an interesting variation for this sort of flick, where the heroine usually struggles for all she's worth.

It's not like you won't predict much of what happens, but it unfolds with a sort of inexorable dread that you do not get in your average flashy teen horror flick. There's no nudity or lascivious material to speak of, as this is not one of "those" kinds of girls' school movies. Also, for those who aren't into tons of blood and guts, Lesley Gore is the only real gore here, frequently appearing on the soundtrack including in a lovely arrangement of "You Don't Own Me" with a wordless vocal by Marcy mixed in. The independent feminine spirit of that song is found in all of McKee's work, but Bruckner provides his strongest heroine yet. (I couldn't help but think of Kate Winslet in "Heavenly Creatures"; perhaps it's just her eyebrows and vintage schoolgirl outfit.) Although it may be too methodical for people who prefer the remake of "Dawn of the Dead" over the original, I highly recommend "The Woods" to any fan of well-crafted, elemental horror. And you can watch it for free here! Zee trailer: