Tiny toob adventures

Y'all know that at times I post a bunch of video finds in lieu of actual content. This is one of those times. I guess the overall theme is "fun with television."


"Hatten-Baby"
I giggled my guts out at this crude Flash animation at the dawn of the decade. Like the best Tim and Eric sketches, it's nearly impossible to explain why it's funny... you're either hardwired to laugh at it, or you aren't. The clip is much weirder (thus, better) without explanation, so I won't bore you with any. Sadly, its original host site disappeared, and I feared it was lost forever. Thankfully, some enterprising soul resurrected it on good ol' YouTube. No, this is not TV-related, but I had to share.


"Junior Christian Science Bible Lesson Show"
Speaking of Tim and Eric, here's a glimpse of two of their "stars," puppeteer David Liebe Hart and impressionist James Quall, in their formative years. The clip is from Hart's infamous Los Angeles-area public access TV program, where he hoped to impart lessons to children via readings and original songs, frequently about the Bible, staying off drugs and UFOs. I really wish this show had been my first introduction to these fellows; at any rate, it proves that they aren't just playing up their oddness for the benefit of stoned [adult swim] viewers. They really are like that.


"Diabeetus"
An example of one of my favorite Internet phenomena. For the benefit of those without televisions, beloved character actor and curmudgeon Wilford Brimley is the promotional face of Liberty Medical Supply, which ships testing supplies and other items of use to those coping with diabetes mellitus. Brimley's gruff demeanor and folksy pronunciation of the disorder (popularly referred to as "the beetis") has spawned hundreds of videos like this, which do not so much make fun of diabetes as they do the inherently hilarious Mr. Brimley. Others interpolate him with Hot Butter's "Popcorn" or Falco's "Rock Me Amadeus." I really hope he sees some of these before he dies, and that none of the younger employees of Liberty Medical tip their bosses off to how funny kids find their TV commercials.


"The Church of Snuggie"
Another popular Internet/TV ad crossover, this time featuring the amazing blanket with sleeves. This is my favorite of the Snuggie "remixes," highlighing the curious couplet: "Blankets are okay, but they can slip and slide/And when you need to reach for something, your hands are trapped inside." (Funny, no one seems to mention that the old dude looks like Malcolm McDowell, which is what first made me think of the product's sinister connotations.) I got my lady a Snuggie for Valentine's Day, and she says she loves it... but I had to wash it soon after it came out of the box, because whatever they treated it with made me sneeze like a sumbitch.


"Thundercats Outtakes"
Once a popular soundfile, many have tried to edit video to this widely-circulated collection of "Thundercats" voice actors flubbing lines and saying dirty things. This is one of the best attempts.


"Cookie Monster sings 'Hammer Smashed Face'"
Similarly, there are a ton of clips out there wherein people edited "Sesame Street" footage to metal songs. Most of them are completely awful, but this one pairing everyone's favorite glutton with an opening snippet from Cannibal Corpse's Tomb of the Mutilated hit (which you surely remember from the band's appearance in "Ace Ventura: Pet Detective") gets it right.


"Monster Wars: Grave Digger vs. Carolina Crusher"
Finally, here's proof that this insane show existed. In the early-to-mid-1990s, the syndicated monster truck racing program "Monster Wars" aired locally on Channel 50 late Saturday nights. Although it was hard to get anyone else to sit through much of it, I watched it whenever I could. Not because I was into monster trucks, but because before and after each mercifully brief race, costumed characters representing the trucks would holler scripted taunts at each other in front of cheap bluescreens. It was like pro wrestling, but without 20 minutes of sweaty fat guys groping each other's spandex, and helped the incredibly dull "sport" of monster truck racing appear entertaining. Here's a classic clip of Grave Digger (forever my favorite monster truck because of the z-grade Skeletor character depicted here) and Carolina Crusher (a cheesy construction worker, who would be the program's gayest mascot if it weren't for Predator, a cross between a reject from a community theater production of "Cats" and a member of the worst hair metal band you never saw).