10.10.2010

Terror 2000

It's October, even though it's 80 degrees outside. Just as I am happily settling into fall, the accursed heat decides to creep in and nearly ruin my weekend. This is, frankly, horseshit. I live in the Midwest. I shouldn't have to run my air conditioning this late in the calendar year.

Well, the trees know what time of year it is, as do the stores and TV channels. I am naturally looking forward to Halloween, even if my costume is still half-formed at the moment. I plan to celebrate extra hard this year, and this extends to my once-flourishing blog. For the first of two spooky playlists, here's a look back at 20 good horror movies from the '00s. I picked at least one from every year, and tried to mix it up while staying away from the most obvious franchises (for the record, I'll take "The Ring" or "Hostel" over "The Grudge" or "Saw" any day). Some you'll definitely recognize, some you may not know at all. I can vouch for all of 'em.



1. "Final Destination" (2000) - This mainstream funhouse ride from former "X-Files" folks came on the tail end of the post-"Scream" teen slasher craze, hence its dreary "bunch of people standing against a black background" poster. It transcended its marketing with brilliant kill scenes and the downbeat message that no one can escape the clutches of death, which all of its sequels except the inferior second installment have carried forth.

2. "Uzumaki" (2000) - Once you start digging, you realize that a lot of modern Japanese horror is either irritatingly similar or clinically distasteful. This manga adaptation is a one-of-a-kind exception, a tale of small town mass madness that is low on cheap jolts but long on visually stunning Lynchian weirdness.

3. "Ginger Snaps" (2000) - The smart, female-centered horror film has really blossomed over the past decade, with some good results ("May") and some not so much ("Jennifer's Body"). This Canadian classic about two close teen sisters growing apart is not only the prototype, but the best. Yeah, it's an adolescent allegory with werewolves, but it has more in common with "Heathers" than with "New Moon."

4. "The Others" (2001) - I love a nice extreme horror movie, but once in a while a more understated picture is made by the right people and manages to be more impressive than a thousand chainsaw manglings. From the foreboding atmosphere to the riveting performances by Nicole Kidman and the kids, everything clicks creepily in this supernatural story of unraveling faith.

5. "Bones" (2001) - Slick, violent fun with a vague social conscience, Snoop Dogg's first foray into horror films brought back the spirit of '70s blaxploitation horror more confidently than did its most visible predecessor, 1995's "Tales from the Hood." Director Ernest Dickerson was the DP on all of Spike Lee's great early movies, and he also directed the loveable "Tales from the Crypt Presents: Demon Night."

6. "Dagon" (2001) - The dudes behind "Re-Animator" and "From Beyond" dipped back into Lovecraft and left out the splatter humor for a more visceral, unrelenting sort of spookshow. The damp, enveloping atmosphere of the rainy island setting is only let down by a few lousy digital effects, while the international cast and crew lend the movie a uniquely "foreign" flavor.

7. "Jason X" (2002) - Many people seem to hate it, but I think the 10th "Friday the 13th" installment is one of the series' best in that it completely embraces, enhances and sends up the ludicrous conventions of its predecessors. Jason is cryogenically frozen, awoken in space and eventually becomes a cyborg, and unlike the time he took Manhattan, the carnage that ensues lives up to the premise's gimmicky promise.

8. "Cabin Fever" (2002) - A throwback gorefest about a group of complete douchebags attacked in the woods by a flesh-eating virus, Eli Roth's directorial debut is a gloppy, sloppy mess of audience manipulation. Grimly gross and amiably wacky in different places, it bears the slimy mark of true Troma fandom (after all, Roth provided the legendary commentary on Troma's "Bloodsucking Freaks" DVD).

9. "House of 1000 Corpses" (2003) - We waited three years to see Rob Zombie's first movie, which was held up and ultimately dumped by Universal because it supposedly got slapped with an NC-17 for content, then picked up and dropped by MGM before finally being scavenged by Lionsgate, the New Line Cinema of the '00s. The final release was a crazed jumble of goofy and grueling horror images largely informed by "The Texas Chain Saw Massacre," not a classic but perfect background noise for a Halloween party.

10. "Willard" (2003) - Although remake fever blighted the decade, and has of course spilled into the next, not all remakes are bad, as evidenced by this update of the '70s favorite by the "Final Destination" guys. Everybody's favorite flake Crispin Glover is perfect as the put-upon misfit who finds friendship and acceptance in a horde of intelligent, homicidal rats.

11. "Toolbox Murders" (2004) - Tobe Hooper's first good movie in more than a decade was also a remake, but much like Crispin Glover's turn as "The Wizard of Gore," "Toolbox" was really a remake in name only. Hooper's compellingly bizarro re-imagining of the 1978 video nasty starring the ever-interesting Angela Bettis only retained the seedy apartment setting and gory hardware dispatchings.

12. "The Descent" (2005) - Ostensibly a story about a group of women who go spelunking and stumble across a batch of hungry subterranean beasts, Neil Marshall's follow-up to the enterprising "Dog Soldiers" drifts in a somber haze of encroaching dread from its opening tragedy. It's smart, suffocating and primal, the best pure horror movie the UK's given us since Clive Barker's flesh-ripping salad days.

13. "Slither" (2006) - Former Troma/"Scooby Doo" screenwriter James Gunn made his (credited) feature debut with this shockingly great horror comedy in which small town yokels are besieged by alien slugs with a hive mind. With just the right pace, attitude and amount of gross-out fun, plus a game cast, it rises above schlock as the '80s greats it emulates did.

14. "Feast" (2006) - One of the best things to come out of reality television in general, "Feast" was the subject of the final season of "Project Greenlight," which simultaneously moved from HBO to Bravo and from tedious indie dramas to a boisterous splatterfest. As the occupants of a shithole bar fight off bloodthirsty creatures, it's like the second half of "From Dusk Till Dawn," but cheaper, faster, louder and nuttier.

15. "Mulberry Street" (2006) - If you can forgive its obvious microbudget, this underheralded feature from the ever-popular After Dark Horrorfest is a unique take on the infestation movie, and not just because it creatively involves people turning into rat-beasts. Debuting director Jim Mickle's confidence and vision turned meager resources into a stylish, intimate post-9/11 NYC monster movie.

16. "28 Weeks Later" (2007) - I like Danny Boyle's zombie-ish original just fine, but I prefer the sequel to 2002's "28 Days Later" because it's a rare horror franchise entry that doesn't lighten the mood with commercial aspirations. Instead, from its nail-biter opening, where we get a protagonist we can't side with, it delves into bleaker territory, as much about entropy as "Days" was about evolution.

17. "The Mist" (2007) - Given Frank Darabont's track record with Stephen King adaptations, I'm glad he finally decided to do one of the horror stories. This look at small-town folks trapped in a supermarket by an enveloping, inscrutable, monster-filled mist isn't perfect (the interpersonal confrontations are contrived and it's too long), but the ambience is right and the ending is, appropriately, a real downer.

18. "Diary of the Dead" (2008) - At first, I wasn't very thrilled about George Romero's foray into hand-held zombie horror, as despite some neat sequences (the hospital) and quick-flash gore effects, it's not a great zombie movie. George has become more of an "idea" guy, and upon subsequent viewings, it's clear to me that he still has keen insight into human failings, and he's pretty hip about how modern technology impacts the way we address our fears.

19. "Let the Right One In" (2008) - Everybody loves this stark, quiet Swedish movie about a bullied kid befriending a little girl in his apartment complex who turns out to be an ancient vampire. Who the hell knows why it needed to be faithfully remade in America two years later, but it seems the new version by the guy who made "Cloverfield" that opened last weekend is already a flop.

20. "Drag Me to Hell" (2009) - It took a lot of convincing to get me to watch Sam Raimi's PG-13 "return to horror," as I expected the guy who made "For Love of the Game" to deliver the sort of heartless product that Wes Craven grudgingly shits out these days. Instead, the dubious prospect of a bank loan agent cursed by a gypsy becomes ten tons of fun thanks to Sam's seriously zany (and surprisingly graphic) sequences. Somehow, the film's legitimacy never gets in its way.

1 Comments:

Anonymous trailer said...

thanks for post.

5:24 AM, August 22, 2011  

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